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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788958">내가 싫어진 거잖아 (I Hate It)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reinapuff/pseuds/Maltishu'>Maltishu (Reinapuff)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>(여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:48:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,395</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788958</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reinapuff/pseuds/Maltishu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The poor girl fainted on the spot, the loud thud and lack of laughter shifting the tone to a more serious one.<br/>Her fellow members ran over to make sure she was okay, but the clock was ticking.</p><p>And that's when a gasp from all of them left their lungs. Just as one of the five standing girls gently pulled out the flower's petal from their maknae's mouth, a wave of sorrow hit the group at once. Minnie and Yuqi both rushed Shuhua back to her room, leaving a concerned Miyeon and Soyeon with a very confused Soojin. </p><p>But Soojin would realize the error she made a little too late.<br/>Just as her feelings were becoming clearer, tragedy would strike the group.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Foreign Line (Minnie Nicha Yontararak | Song Yuqi | Yeh Shuhua), Korean Line (Cho Miyeon | Seo Soojin | Jeon Soyeon), Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>250</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Uh-Oh</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Alright, so let's kick off things by saying I am absolutely sorry if this is trash.<br/>I hope y'all forgive me for how bad it is.<br/>The title is the lyrics from the Nightmare Version of Put it Straight/Say No. (Soojin's last line before Soyeon's verse.)</p><p>I'm sure there's plenty of angsty Sooshu fics out there, but I wanted to take a swing at it.<br/>Archive warnings say major character death, and it's because one of them does die. (Please don't hate me, Neverland.)<br/>(Also, I do indeed have Soojin and Shuhua being roommates.) </p><p>tw: character death, blood, swearing/mature language </p><p>(And yes, the chapter names are song names.)</p><p>Be sure to keep on loving our girls, Neverland! </p><p>Feel free to talk to me or leave feedback:<br/>@Maltishu on Twitter</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Minnie and Yuqi's suspicions over the last month were finally confirmed when poor Shuhua fell victim to a fainting spell. Fearing their time is short, a crying Yuqi and disconcerted Minnie try to comfort the maknae. After a heartfelt and short conversation later that night, Minnie takes time in the quiet of the night to think of the things she wishes she could say.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Hi! We are (G)I-DLE!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It started becoming a repetitive pattern. It was a pattern she did not mind. In fact, she enjoyed the repetitiveness of it. A habit that she hoped wouldn’t break. She knew her time was short, and that every waking moment was time ticking away on the clock. In her mind, she just hoped the person would finally notice. </p><p> </p><p>And with that, the story begins. </p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>Like most every other day, there would be a gentle shaking motion waking Shuhua up in the mornings. An all too familiar face with a smile that could light up a sky. The calming, and husky voice of the group was the one giving the maknae her morning wake up call. “Shuhua! Get up!” Yuqi’s calming tone was not there, instead, it was the energetic tone that tended to give her excitement away. “Come on, get up!”</p><p> </p><p>A soft groan from Shuhua. The only way for Yuqi to have been let in was by Soojin.</p><p>“How did you get in, Yuqi?” The sleepy maknae yawns.</p><p> </p><p>“Soojin left the door open.”</p><p> </p><p>Made sense, but… Soojin should’ve been the one to wake her up. Sitting up, some of her hair having caught mass volume, Shuhua yawns again, sleepily pulling Yuqi into a hug. “Do I have to get up, unnie?”</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, this sight melted Yuqi’s heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. We’re just going to dance around and stuff today. Have fun as a group, you know? And you’re part of the group, Shushu,” the hug tightens for a moment, which gets a yelp out of the maknae. Letting go of her with a laugh, Yuqi stands up and heads for the door of the room. Turning back for a moment, she smiles. “I’ll be waiting in the hallway!”</p><p> </p><p>The door closes. Shuhua runs a hand through her hair and lets out a soft sigh. She wasn’t much of a morning person, she had to admit as such, but if she got to spend time with Soojin and the rest of the girls, it was a good day. Stretching her arms upwards, the youngest of the six finally got out of bed and changed into a pair of grey sweatpants. Shuhua looked at herself in the mirror for a moment, before changing into an oversized green shirt. With a yawn escaping her lips, she headed over to the bathroom to get ready for her day. </p><p> </p><p>Heading into the hallway minutes later, Yuqi pulls Shuhua towards her and the two begin walking. Soft murmurs in Mandarin filled the hallway while the two kept a conversation going, before a loud and happy voice interrupted them. The smile of their third Foreign Line member was followed by a laugh. Minnie’s energy was unrivaled that morning, and it was a refreshing sight. “Good morning!”</p><p> </p><p>“Mornin’.”</p><p>“Morning, Minnie.”</p><p> </p><p> “Aw come on, cheer up you two!” The eldest of that group of three threw her arms around her young counterparts, running a hand up to their hair before messing it up. That got a laugh out of Shuhua, and a bit of a whine from Yuqi. “Did Shu just wake up?” </p><p> </p><p>A nod, followed by a yawn. </p><p> </p><p>“Cute. The other girls are waiting. Either that, or it’s just Soojin that’s waiting… I think it’s just Soojin. I know Miyeon wakes up late, and then Soyeon’s probably busy this morning. But she said she’d join us later.”</p><p> </p><p>The mention and thought of Soojin made Shuhua’s heart both happy and sad. </p><p> </p><p>She would never admit it to the girls, but… she wasn’t exactly 100%. She was feeling rather sick, like something was inside of her lungs and she couldn’t breathe. Something kept gripping and pulling Shuhua’s every breath down, to the point that she felt herself struggle to breathe some nights. Nothing seemed to come out of it, and the others thought that maybe it was allergies, or that Shuhua was getting a little cold. It had to be one of those two things. That breathless feeling was there again, but Shuhua did what she did best:</p><p> </p><p>She smiled right on through it and pretended everything was fine. </p><p>She knew something was wrong, and she could not tell anyone what it was.</p><p>It was a horrible secret to keep, but… it was one she was willing to die with. </p><p> </p><p>Minnie had noticed it over the last few weeks, almost the last month or two really. How Shuhua’s volume and energy had calmed down quite a bit. It was a little disconcerting. With a soft sigh, Minnie closed her eyes as the three walked down the hall. She was lost in thought to the night that she and Yuqi sat down to talk. </p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Min, you’re looking a lil’ pale. You okay?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yuqi sat herself down in front of Minnie with her eyebrows furrowed. It was unlike Minnie to look so concerned. Gently moving a few stray strands of her hair out of her face, Yuqi straightened her posture. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Something doesn’t feel right, Yuqi. I’m worried about Shuhua. She hasn’t been talking as much lately. She seems to be a little more timid of talking. Have you not noticed it?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now that Minnie was bringing it up, Yuqi couldn’t lie to her and say she didn’t see it. She did. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I have seen it. I’m not the only one who was noticing it, then?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No.” Minnie’s eyes looked a little tired. The worry seems to have taken the energy out of her. “I’m honestly scared, Yuqi. What if she’s sick and isn’t telling any of us to not worry us?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yuqi’s body tensed up at the thought. Her eyebrows furrow. “Shu would immediately tell Soyeon if she wasn’t feeling well. Maybe… maybe this isn’t physical, Min. Shu makes it known when she doesn't feel good. Maybe something’s on her mind and she needs someone to vent to. I don’t know what it is, call it intuition, but I swear something doesn’t feel right about this.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> There was a moment of silence. The two shared a similar look, a nod being what solidifies a silent agreement. They had one job, and it was quite simple: </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Make sure Shuhua was okay, no matter what was plaguing her.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I would normally say bold to assume Shu wouldn’t want to talk, but… I have to believe you this time around. When we get a day off, we need to spend it with her.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I can get behind that.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>“Min?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. Just thinking.”</p><p> </p><p>Shuhua glanced at the two for a moment, before being caught off guard by another arm being put around her. The all too familiar voice was like a somber melody. Something so pretty yet so dark… one couldn’t bear it. </p><p> </p><p>“Shuhua?”</p><p> </p><p>“Soojin-unnie!” Shuhua got out of Minnie’s grip and went to hug Soojin. With a roll of her eyes, Soojin just accepted the embrace and had a little grin across her lips. Soojin’s gentle push was enough to get Shuhua off of her, but the young woman went to hug her arm instead. Minnie’s eyes glanced between the two, seeming to linger on Shuhua more than on Soojin. If she could try and figure out what was going on, she would do it. If that meant she had to study Shuhua’s behavior for the day? She would.</p><p> </p><p>Yuqi herself ended up joining Minnie on keeping a watchful eye on the maknae. For the moment, everything seemed to be normal. Her mind, much like her older counterpart’s mind, was racing with thoughts of what could be plaguing the youngest of the group. Narrowing her eyes a little, Yuqi ends up averting her gaze to the wall made of mirrors and staring at Soojin and Shuhua through there. The way Shuhua had loosened up her grip on Soojin’s arm caught her attention. With a sharp inhale, she ended up breaking her concentration, and getting the attention of the other three. </p><p> </p><p>“Yuqi?”<br/>“You okay, Yuqi?” <br/>“Yu?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, sorry… got lost in thought. Why don’t we just have fun while we wait for Miyeon and Soyeon?”</p><p> </p><p>Seemed like an easy enough solution to the ordeal of just having worried three other people. Anything to divert the topic. Minnie’s hand reached for Yuqi’s shoulder and made itself home there, with Minnie leaning down a little to whisper in her ear. </p><p>“You noticed it too? How Shu isn’t hugging Soojin as tightly as she normally does?”</p><p> </p><p>A small nod. </p><p> </p><p>“Min… do you think it has to do with Soojin?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe, Yu…”</p><p> </p><p>A worried Yuqi looked up, before allowing Minnie to hug her. Safe to say, the two were concerned about the maknae of their group. </p><p> </p><p>Shuhua’s grip on Soojin’s arm loosened up. She ended up letting go of Soojin entirely, and drifted off to plug her phone in. Going through various playlists, she ended up selecting a song the girls were pretty familiar with. They had performed it before as a cover, and it gained major success. Giving herself enough time to take the center of the room, Shuhua’s eyes met her reflection with a pained smile as the words began escaping her lips. Not only was she going to dance; she was going to sing. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “If it’s for you, I can act like I’m happy even when I’m sad. If it’s for you, I can act strong when it hurts. Hoping that love was perfect in itself; hoping that all my weaknesses will be hidden. In this dream that won’t ever come true, I grew a flower that couldn’t be blossomed.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Soojin raised an eyebrow. It was an interesting choice of song, but she wasn’t going to complain. In fact, she ended up joining Shuhua by dancing with her. But Minnie and Yuqi were exchanging an extremely uncomfortable look. That was a bold choice from the maknae. </p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>10:35 am</p><p> </p><p>Miyeon and Soyeon both were entering the studio room, with Miyeon waving and Soyeon grinning.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning!”<br/>“Morning girls.”</p><p> </p><p>“Miyeon. Soyeon.”<br/>“Ladies.”<br/>“Miyeon! Soyeon!”<br/>And a wave from Shuhua. </p><p> </p><p>Soyeon pulled Yuqi into a side hug, keeping the grin on her face. “We could hear the music earlier. Who decided to play Fake Love?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me, Soyeon. I wanted to dance.”</p><p> </p><p>Soyeon’s grin faded for a moment. Even that took her by surprise. Pursing her lips, she gave a glance to Miyeon, who gave her a shrug. The glance traveled to Minnie, who shoved her hands in her pockets. Then to Soojin, who also gave a shrug. Yuqi blinked with a blank expression on her face, and Shuhua seemed a bit proud of her choice. Shaking her head and running a hand through her hair, Soyeon let it go.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we can all do it together, Soyeon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, can I pull Yuqi out into the hallway for a moment?” Minnie grabs the younger woman’s wrist and smiles nervously. There seems to be a general consensus that allowed her to do so. Minnie was quick to close the door and go down the hall, far away that the two would not be heard. </p><p> </p><p>“The way she was staring at Soo, Yuqi. Please tell me–”</p><p> </p><p>“It has to do with Soojin. Minnie, I have a bad feeling about this. Really bad. It’s not even intuition anymore, I just feel like it could be something I read about a while ago.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, calm down. Obviously panicking isn’t going to do anything. What are you talking about?” </p><p> </p><p>Yuqi sharply inhaled. She didn’t entirely know how to phrase it without making it sound so drastic and dramatic. Sadly, the wording she wanted would not come to mind. The cold, hard truth was the only thing left to say and it was the only thing available to say. </p><p> </p><p>Better to speak up than to stay quiet.</p><p> </p><p>“Hear me out. There’s this thing… it’s called Hanahaki disease. It develops because of very one sided love.”</p><p> </p><p>Minnie’s furrowed eyebrows ended up arching upwards, and her eyes widened. <br/>"Tell me more.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well...” Yuqi tightly held on to her own wrists. “I’m sure you know what it feels like to have a crush on someone and not be able to tell them because of butterflies. This is that, but ten times worse, Min. Those who end up developing Hanahaki… they cough up leaves, flower petals… eventually blood if it gets excessive. It can get so bad that the person infected could die.”</p><p> </p><p>Minnie’s face went pale. Her eyes were wide; fear glazed over them in the form of tears that were threatening to spill. </p><p> </p><p>Yuqi had to pause to take a shaky breath. It was hurting her talking about it. </p><p>“They say that people who don’t get the infection surgically removed… or don’t get their feelings returned… die. They die because the flower’s roots grow in their lungs. The roots end up using their blood as their nutrients. The person infected ends up drowning in their own blood because of it, and because they also choked on those flower petals.”</p><p> </p><p>“Explain the ‘feelings returned’ bit, Yu.”</p><p> </p><p>“The disease can go away if the person that the infected loves returns their feelings. Either through words, or through… well… an item of sorts. Something sentimental to prove it. But the death is near instantaneous if the infected doesn’t believe the person returning their love.”</p><p> </p><p>Silence fell upon the two in the hallway. Minnie was in tears, feeling each and every single drop roll down her cheeks. Yuqi’s eyes were a little red, due to trying to hold the tears back. In a shaky voice, Yuqi continued.</p><p> </p><p>“Call me crazy, Minnie… but I really think Shuhua’s feelings for Soojin are one sided. And… and I mean bad enough that this could–”</p><p> </p><p>“Yu… it’s okay. Shu’s going to be okay. We’re going to make sure she’s okay. You know we won’t let her leave us so soon,” the voice of the older woman cracked a little, with her pulling her young counterpart into a very right hug. Yuqi began to cry after being pulled into that hug. Minnie’s embrace was keeping her calm, but it would only be a matter of time before things got worse.</p><p> </p><p>“I really… really think that’s what’s plaguing Shu, Min.”</p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>11:02 am</p><p> </p><p>After needing to regain their composure, the two missing members returned to the room where the other four were waiting. They were given a warm greeting, a few hugs, and then the true fun of the day could begin. Though… if Yuqi was right…</p><p> </p><p>That day was about to go downhill rather fast.</p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>2:27 pm</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Now I don’t even know who I used to be. So I ask the mirror, who are you?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Things were beginning to slow down a little too much for Shuhua to understand what was going on. She kept pausing, shaking her head and holding back coughs. Looking up at the mirror, Shuhua noticed how much paler her face had gotten during the day. Running a hand through her hair, all she could do was hold onto it until the day was over. But the sensation was gripping at her. </p><p> </p><p>It was pulling at her very breath. She could barely move a few steps at this point without feeling like she would collapse. The pain and the torture of holding something so horrible in was overwhelming. It had gotten to the point that Shuhua felt herself fall to her knees, covering her mouth with one hand. Swallowing as hard as she could, she stood back up and gave a thumbs up. Minnie started approaching the girl, before she broke into a full sprint.</p><p> </p><p>“Shuhua!”</p><p> </p><p>Shuhua felt herself immediately lose consciousness. Her body began to fall backwards, hand coming back down to her side as she fell. Minnie’s preemptive motions towards Shuhua blessed her with enough time to get behind the falling girl and catch her. Coming down with her, Yuqi practically slid across the floor on her knees to Minnie’s side. Miyeon and Soyeon both shared a glance, before they joined Yuqi and Minnie. Soojin remained standing, the sight of Shuhua fainting being a little too distressing. The sight of Shuhua being unconscious was hurting her a little. </p><p> </p><p>“Min, hold on to her… I’m going to see if she’s breathing.”</p><p> </p><p>With shaky hands, Yuqi held on to the unconscious girl’s face and got near it. Shallow breaths, essentially enough to keep her alive. But something was poking at her cheek. Bringing a hand from Shuhua’s cheek to her lips, Yuqi’s thumb and index got a hold of the object poking her cheek. Her heart dropped to the pit of her chest. The very thing she feared had come to fruition. As the white petal came into clear view, Minnie gulped.</p><p> </p><p>“Yu, the bottom of that petal is red.”</p><p> </p><p>A little sniff. Iron. </p><p>The heavy, metallic scent was one no one ever really wanted to have around them. It was a heartbreaking sight, and an even more concerning scent. Helping Minnie with Shuhua, Yuqi ended up leading the three out of that rehearsal space. The singular flower petal rested on the floor, with Soojin’s eyes fixing themselves on it. Something seemed off about all of this, and she could not place it for the life of her. </p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>3:34 pm</p><p> </p><p>A dizzy and discombobulated Shuhua found herself sitting up… on her bed? </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t recall having come back to her room. The last thing she could remember was being in front of the mirrors with the other five girls. When she was fully upright, she found herself reaching for the little basket next to her nightstand. The flower petals began to flow out of her mouth like a raging ocean flowing to the shore. The sounds of the heaving were what got Yuqi’s attention. Minnie stood up after Yuqi, and the two went into the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Shu?”<br/>“Shu… what’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>Wiping her mouth, the maknae looks up. Her eyes look pained. She didn’t want anyone to find out. <br/>“Minnie-unnie… Yuqi-unnie…”</p><p> </p><p><em> Yuqi-unnie. <br/></em>The mere fact she was being called unnie was breaking Yuqi’s heart. She went to sit next to Shuhua on the bed, before pulling her into a tight embrace. The tears were flowing down her cheeks again, and she knew they would not stop this time. Trying to contain the shaky breaths that would come if she let herself focus on it too much, Yuqi gently pushed Shuhua far away enough to stare into her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Shushu, what’s going on? Please tell us what’s going on.”</p><p> </p><p>Shuhua’s eyes went up from Yuqi’s face to Minnie’s. There was just a nod from Minnie.<br/>With a gulp, Shuhua composed herself and wiped the corner of her lip. “I… might or might have not hidden the fact I’ve been infected with Hanahaki disease for the last two or so months. I didn’t want you guys to worry about me. I… thought I could get over Soojin, and–”</p><p> </p><p>“You love Soojin…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yet she doesn’t love me back. When the first white petal fell, I was confused. But then I realized it’s a white rose. They symbolize eternal love, Minnie-unnie. Love and loyalty.”</p><p> </p><p>Yuqi’s sniffling was what kept her in the conversation. It was allowing her to hear, instead of being in full blown sobs. “Damn it… I knew it! Minnie, I knew it had to do with Soojin!” The sudden outburst took the maknae by surprise. With a deep breath, Yuqi looked down right at Shuhua and gently shook her. “Promise me, please promise me you’re going to make it out alive.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know if I will, Yuqi-unnie.”</p><p>There it was again. <br/><em> Yuqi-unnie.<br/></em>The fact that Shuhua was calling her that nickname meant the poor girl was in turmoil. </p><p><br/>“I don’t know if Soojin…”</p><p><br/>“Enough. Shu, love,” Minnie kneels down next to the bed, gently holding Shuhua’s hands. “I hope everything works out. Have you at least gone to see a doctor about this?” The maknae gave a nod. “Okay… what did the doctor say about this?”<br/><br/></p><p>“At the rate it’s been advancing… I don’t really have much time left. I’m scared, Minnie-unnie. I don’t want to die. But I don’t want to lose my ability to love! I don’t know what to do…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>7:30 pm</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>To ease any and all of Shuhua’s worries for that night, Minnie and Yuqi decided to stay with her. Of course, they had spoken with Soojin about it since Shuhua was her roommate. Soojin’s only condition was that they didn’t wake her up unless it was an emergency of sorts. Though, due to the time, one could find Soojin probably making dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>About an hour later or so, Soojin gently knocked on the door to Shuhua’s room. When the door opened, she carefully stepped over to Shuhua and handed her the bowl. “Here. Figured this might help you feel better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, she wasn’t done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two other bowls appeared in that room– one for Yuqi, and one for Minnie. With a gentle smile, Soojin ended up closing the door and then finally settled herself down to eat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seaweed soup… she knows it’s my favorite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I don’t blame you, this smells amazing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Smells amazing, tastes even better than it smells.” Minnie grins. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuhua’s shoulders eased up for the first time that day. She looked extremely calm, content almost. She knew that Soojin could tell something had happened to her, and that comfort food for her was something that would cheer her up. But it was the things like these that confused the poor girl. Shuhua’s exhausted eyes look up from the food to glance between Minnie and Yuqi. The other two felt horrible. Their gazes met Shu’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re never going to be able to tell her about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s eating you alive, Shu… we can see it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A shake of the head.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I can’t bring myself to tell her. I don’t even know if it would make a difference.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>11:57 pm</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By this point, the room overall was silent. The gentle rolling of ocean waves was coming out of Soojin’s room, and Shuhua’s room had various forms of pop music filling up the silence for the night. Instead of three girls in one room, two of them were sitting in the living room. The lamp by Yuqi dimly lit the room, and it was enough lighting for her to be able to see Minnie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This hurts, Min. I can’t tell what hurts worse, seeing her in such turmoil, or the sad and scared look in her eyes when she says unnie to either of us. And I never get called unnie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adjusting her ponytail, Minnie let a sigh out. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yu, all we can really do is stay calm and be there for her. Your heart isn’t the only one breaking. My heart is hurting horribly too. I hate seeing Shushu in such a pained state. She’s a sweet girl, and the world knows that. She’s loud, but that’s part of what makes her… well, her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unrequited love… one sided love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A love represented by roses.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“White roses. Eternal loyalty and young love. They say the flowers represent the infected, or the person that the infected loves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuqi ended up leaning on Minnie, eventually laying down with her head on Minnie’s lap. A hand ran through Yuqi’s hair in an attempt to calm her down. “We have to find a way to save her, Yu. I can’t imagine not having her around. I really don’t know what we can do. This is a bad idea, but… should we see if they work things out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuqi’s eyes were halfway open. She nods. “I don’t want Shushu to disappear either. I mean, it might not be the best idea because… we need her. But maybe Soojin will soften up enough to save Shu.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes began to close. Yuqi’s emotions had drained her from the worry to the sobs physically shaking her to the core. It was to the point she had ended up falling asleep on Minnie, turning her body to wrap her arms around her waist. This left Minnie still awake, and alone with her thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shuhua… hold on for us. We’ll figure something out. I can’t promise you won’t die because of it, but we will do our best to make the days easier for you. Maybe your days aren’t limited after all. Maybe Soojin will realize and you’ll be… cured. That’s what Yuqi says it takes, anyways. That your love needs to be returned. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe your days aren’t so numbered. Maybe… maybe things will look up!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Though… I fear the worst, Shuhua. I do. I fear that these days might truly be your last. And you’ve been nothing but the sweetest girl to ever exist. To have such a tragedy befall you is… heartbreaking. I’ll do my best to protect you until the clock runs out. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I promise you that as your big sister, Shu. I’ll be the Minnie-unnie you cherish and love. </span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>And know that Yuqi will also do her best.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You and her can relate on such a different level than the rest of us. You both share a special bond of being the maknae line. You both speak Mandarin when you get excited, or when you feel extremely comfortable.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you see how much it hurts her to see you this way. </span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>How you’ve seen her tears flow like a river’s neverending stream. </span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>How tightly she’s hugged you lately. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I haven’t shown much emotion, but it hurts me too.</span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>The thought of losing my little sister hurts. </span>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
    <span>The pain in my heart can never be described by just words. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But even though I don’t seem to be showing it, please know I’m feeling it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold on, Shushu. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Minnie-unnie and Yuqi-unnie will do their best to help you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reaching over Yuqi without waking her up, Minnie turned the lamp off and let out a sigh. A few tears ran down her cheeks, but she pulled herself together. Managing to position herself in a way to carry Yuqi without waking the sleeping girl up, Minnie made her way to Shuhua's room again. Getting Yuqi settled down next to Shuhua, Minnie sat up on the bed for a moment and gave a pained smile to the sleeping girls next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>The faintest of whispers filled the room buzzing with music:</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I love you both so much. My maknae line.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Oh My God</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Watching Shuhua be whisked away by Minnie and Yuqi the other day, Soyeon and Miyeon can't help but wonder what was happening. After hearing the news, they make it their mission to join Yuqi and Minnie in making sure Shuhua's limited time was at its peak. Soojin, on the other hand, takes time to herself with the petal. A nightly conversation with herself has her questioning the situation at hand, and Minnie has to go rescue her from Seoul's oddly silent night.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Feel free to leave feedback, suggest more AUs for Sooshu (or any pairing), and... I just hope you enjoy the angst trip. </p>
<p>Oh, and feel free to talk to me:<br/>@Maltishu on Twitter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hi! We are (G)I-DLE!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A habit so familiar, it begins to put a smile on her face. The repetitive pattern of introducing themselves had become a memory so happy, it could cheer her up. A pattern she would be honored to repeat until she could no more. When things began to get stressful, she would normally laugh. But this was no laughing matter, and her mind was in cahoots with the stress. All she knew was that she had to get to the bottom of it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This is where the story continues…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The events of the previous day were haunting Soojin’s mind like a raging tide gnawing at the shore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was pulling at her very breath. She could barely move a few steps at this point without feeling like she would collapse. The pain and the torture of holding something so horrible in was overwhelming. It had gotten to the point that Shuhua felt herself fall to her knees, covering her mouth with one hand. Swallowing as hard as she could, she stood back up and gave a thumbs up. Minnie started approaching the girl, before she broke into a full sprint.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shuhua!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuhua felt herself immediately lose consciousness. Her body began to fall backwards, hand coming back down to her side as she fell. Minnie’s preemptive motions towards Shuhua blessed her with enough time to get behind the falling girl and catch her. Coming down with her, Yuqi practically slid across the floor on her knees to Minnie’s side. Miyeon and Soyeon both shared a glance, before they joined Yuqi and Minnie.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a worrisome sight– the one that she feared for during a performance. She didn’t think it would happen on a day where they were all together, and much less in the studio. Soojin’s shoulders tensed up as she started to reach for her phone. Her thumbs flew across the screen as she texted Yuqi. She had to know if Shuhua was okay. The poor girl almost took a hard hit to the floor. But it was something else that kept Soojin’s worries at the front.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Setting the phone back down, Soojin’s mind kept playing the events of that previous day. What bothered her the most was what Yuqi had pulled out of Shuhua’s mouth. That very thing, that flower petal– it would never stop knocking on the back of her thoughts. “What the hell is going on with you, Shuhua?” A slightly annoyed tone accompanied the rhetorical question.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The silence was screaming at Soojin. It was yelling at her to get out of the bed and into the room right down the little hallway. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The deafening sounds of the soundlessness were pounding in her head. A heavy sigh and a thud broke the still air. Soojin ended up letting a groan escape her before rolling over and burying her face in her pillow. Nothing was settling her thoughts down, not even the sweet sound of quietude.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>12:20 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a knock at Minnie’s door. One became two, two became three, three became six as a second hand joined. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon and Soyeon both stood on the other side. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Surely one of them is awake, right?” Miyeon nervously tapped her fingers together. After seeing the commotion from yesterday, she couldn’t help but feel bad. Not just for Shuhua, but for Minnie and Yuqi. The two had such hurt looks on their faces. A little earlier, Miyeon had gone by Soojin and Shuhua’s dorm to check on the maknae. Now, it was to check on the two that kept her company. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A soft click. The door unlocks and opens up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yuqi!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yuqi.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Soyeon. Miyeon. Come in,” Yuqi steps to the side, allowing the two to come in. Hearing the commotion, a sleepy Minnie pokes her head from the door. “Yu, why is there–” a yawn interrupts her. “–so much noise?” Opening her eyes, she just nods and decides to step out of the bedroom to lean against the wall. “Morning Miyeon. Morning Soyeon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Afternoon, Minnie.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Good afternoon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a little sigh, Yuqi pulls herself together and takes a look at the two women on the couch. “So, what brings you two to our room? Something wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon’s lips parted as she went to speak, but not a sound came out. How did one word the desire to know what was plaguing someone else? She couldn’t bring herself to do it. She shakes her head, hoping Miyeon would be the one to say it instead. It hurt, having to put Shuhua and fainting in the same sentence. Seeing Soyeon’s distress, Miyeon took it upon herself to bring it up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We want to know what’s going on with Shuhua. You two are the only people that know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A heavy sigh from Miyeon. “She didn’t feel like talking this morning when we went to go check on her. And we weren’t sure if Soojin was awake or not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon’s eyes drifted from Minnie getting off of the wall to Yuqi nervously backing up and going to hug herself. The thought of Shuhua being in pain was enough to bring Yuqi to tears. Seeing how the younger one tensed up and shrunk herself a little, Minnie went over and pulled her into a hug. Her eyes didn’t leave Miyeon or Soyeon. “I’ll explain.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A little yelp escaped Minnie. Yuqi was clinging onto her, and tightened her embrace as a form of comfort. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What plagues Shuhua is Hanahaki disease. It’s said that the people infected with it could die within months. It forms because of one sided love. In this case… Shu happens to love Soo, and… Soo isn’t returning the feelings. There’s a few ways to cure it, but most people just end up dead. One of the ways is for those feelings to be returned, but that’s extremely dangerous. Yuqi mentioned that there was a possibility that if Shuhua didn’t believe Soojin, that the death would be instantaneous.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fear gripped Miyeon at the throat. For a moment, she felt herself unable to breathe. Everything around her immediately blurred and she couldn’t speak. Whatever color was on her cheeks drained. Had one walked in, they would comment that she had seen a ghost.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shu… Shu’s suffering because of her feelings?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon put an arm around Miyeon and gave her a hug. Miyeon gently shook her head, and looked up. “What can I do, Minnie?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Add me to that.” Soyeon looked up herself. In fact, she let go of Miyeon and stood up, hands going to the pockets of her pullover. “What can WE do? What can I, as the leader, do? What can Miyeon do as the oldest member? We want to help, Minnie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their resolve brought a small smile to Minnie’s face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If things play out the way Yuqi and I think they will… we need to make sure Shuhua’s time is well spent. We may not be able to do much, but we need to cherish whatever time we have left, you know?” Her smile quivered as she spoke. Minnie tried keeping such an optimistic outlook on it, and tried to keep herself positive. But she knew the inevitable was coming. She knew she would wake up one morning and have to say her goodbyes. Her eyes met Miyeon’s, and the two shared a little nod. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Being the eldest of the group, they had the most important job.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And they would see it through as best as they could.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon’s gaze went down to Yuqi’s quivering body, and then to Soyeon. She noticed the tension in the girl’s shoulders. How her head was hanging low. Pulling Soyeon into a hug, Miyeon gently rubbed her back. “We’re going to figure this out together. All of us. We’ll find a solution. You know, we’re a family for a reason.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Those words got Yuqi to look up after having been crying into Minnie.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon, what if we can’t figure it out?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then,” her breath hitches, “we do our best to make sure we make every moment count. We live in the now, and not in the past. We live for the now. For today. We… we do our best to cherish each moment. We take pictures and record videos. We go eat, or we cook together. We dance and sing, or we watch a movie. Anything, Yu.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a nod, Yuqi brought a sleeve up to dry her eyes. Seeing Soyeon had started to lean on Miyeon, the two gazes met. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Soyeon…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll do our best, Yu. Trust us.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>1:47 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That group of four decided to have an afternoon full of food. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But when it came to Soojin, things were a little different.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin had the white petal in her hand. She kept staring at it with focused eyes, trying to figure out what the meaning behind it is. It was delicate, almost as if it could break if she wasn’t careful with it. Standing up, Soojin ends up placing the flower petal down and leaving her room. Her steps stopped in front of Shuhua’s door. A gentle knock accompanied her voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shushu?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was some shuffling from inside. Sounded as if Shuhua was trying to hide something. After the shuffling stops, Shuhua’s voice fills the barely quiet air. “Come in.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Opening the door, Soojin took a glance around the room. Some things had gotten re-arranged in that shuffling panic, and it was evident. Though, she said not a word about it and looked down at Shuhua.”You’ve been in here all day, Shushu. Have you eaten anything?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A shake of the head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on then. Leave your little burrow,” she approaches the maknae and reaches a hand out. That hand goes to pinch Shuhua’s cheek, with Soojin smiling a little. Shuhua yelps from the surprise, but starts laughing immediately after. Standing up, she trails behind Soojin. Her mind was reeling with conflicting emotions. She felt both sick to her stomach, and joyful because she was getting time with someone she loved. She was confused as to why Soojin came to her room, but happy that Soojin came to get her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All of this sent Shuhua into a pensive state. A state of questioning everything going on at the moment. Was Soojin being nice to her just because, or did she realize what was going on? It couldn’t be possible. Minnie and Yuqi were the only two that knew. Maybe they told Soyeon and Miyeon, but… she wasn’t too sure. Her ears caught the faint buzzing of a phone. Soojin reached in her back pocket and pulled her phone out to read Yuqi’s message. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Mother Jin]<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Sorry, I was asleep. Uh, she should be fine. That’s what she’s been telling me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A look of confusion came across Soojin’s face, but she shook her head and responded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Song Song]<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Okay. I got her out of her room to come eat with me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sliding her phone back into her pocket, Soojin pulls Shuhua towards her and into a side hug of sorts. “You get to pick what we eat today, Shushu.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though even with saying that, she knew the answer would be something akin to a soup of sorts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we make… uh… what is it…” Shuhua furrows her eyebrows, bringing a hand up to tap her cheek as she goes into thought. Even with the members, she still got a little nervous due to a small fear of pronouncing things incorrectly. The fact that her mind was reeling with all sorts of different thoughts still was not helping her at all. She could barely focus on what she wanted to think about. “I think I got it. Can you make that stir-fry you always made for Soyeon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Raising her eyebrows with a little grin, Soojin was pleasantly surprised to hear that. “Yeah, I can. You have to help me with it, no backing out.” Her hand gently squeezes Shuhua’s shoulder, with her lips forming a smile soon after. Shuhua only looked up, nodded, and grinned a little in response. But the poor girl’s mind would not leave her alone…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Soojin texted back,” Yuqi pulled her phone out. Miyeon, Minnie, and Soyeon’s eyes widened at hearing the statement come out of Yuqi’s mouth. “She got Shu out of her room to eat. So, that’s a plus. However, I’m worried she might cough up a petal or thirty in front of Soo.” Opening her messages back up, Yuqi went to text Shuhua with an unexpected sense of urgency.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Malteshu]<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Whatever you do, hang on. I’ll get you boba on our way back from lunch. We won’t be much longer, maybe an hour at the most. Wait, can you hold on for that long?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sudden buzz of her phone in her pocket made Shuhua jump a little. She fumbles around with it for a moment, and reads Yuqi’s message. Biting her lower lip, she separated herself from Soojin and went back to her room to call the concerned friend. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yuqi?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shu. Please tell me you’re outside of Soojin’s earshot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh… yeah. I think so. Why?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie gently nudged Yuqi, telling the younger woman to put Shuhua on speaker phone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shushu, can you hear me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Minnie-unnie? Yeah, I can. Who are you with?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon and Soyeon. We went out to eat, since we didn’t know if you were awake or not. Or if you even felt well enough to come eat with us. How are you feeling, anyways?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua paused for a moment. “I’m fine. Wait… Miyeon and Soyeon know, don’t they?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon swallowed the bite of food she had in her mouth, and spoke up. “We do, Shuhua. I… I am so sorry, Shu. I can’t imagine how horribly it hurts. But seriously, how are you feeling? We want to make sure you’re okay, even if you’re not entirely 100%, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A sigh. The maknae softly responded. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m confused, unnies. Soo brought me out of the room to get me to eat with her. We’re eating that stir-fry that Soyeon really likes. She’s being really nice to me, like… a lot nicer than normal. I’m used to some level of cold-hearted, but… she’s… uh…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We get it, Maltese,” Soyeon sighs. “Your mind must be driving you insane.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have no idea.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>As if it was clockwork, Soojin’s voice rang in the dorm. “Shu?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She needs me. I have to go. Wait... Yu?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi blinks. She’s brought back to the real world. “Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you bring the boba.” Shuhua hangs up, and pockets her phone again. Leaving her room, she goes to join Soojin in the kitchen. “Sorry, Yuqi-unnie called.” Reaching for the hair tie on her wrist, Shuhua put her hair up in a ponytail. “Okay, I think I’m ready now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A voice in the back of Soojin’s head began to talk. Shuhua almost never called Yuqi ‘unnie’ at any given point. It was a rare occurrence, but… when it happened, it was normally heartfelt, or serious. There was no in between.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>3:00 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The knocks at the dorm door annoyed Soojin a little. Why was it so loud? Groaning, she stood up from her spot on the couch and opened it up, to find the other four of the group behind the door. Yuqi waved, before bouncing over to Shuhua to hand her the cup. Shuhua almost immediately took a sip out of it, and the corners of her lips pulled upwards into a smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Soo,” Minnie pulls her into a hug. “You look a little annoyed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” her lips curl up into a sly grin. “I was busy enjoying my time watching a drama and you guys made me pause it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Yuqi sat down, Shuhua curled up into her with her bowl of food. Plopping a piece of pork belly into her mouth, her eyes drifted to the television. Yuqi had unpaused the drama, and the two were just watching it. Miyeon and Soyeon both raised their eyebrows in question, but sat down on the floor right in front of Yuqi and Shuhua. Soojin joined the two girls on the couch, and Minnie sat in front of Soojin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be in one of those,” Minnie quietly hums. “We just have really good horror movies back home.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really good doesn’t even start it, Min,” Miyeon gently shoves her a little. “I can’t sleep at night if I watch a horror movie from Thailand.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We have great actors and great backstage people. What can I say?” Minnie keeps humming.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Whilte that conversation was going on, Yuqi had to take Shuhua’s bowl of food and chopsticks away from her. The maknae ended up falling asleep due to the warmth from her friend, and such would’ve caused a mess if she didn’t realize it sooner. Pulling her closer, Yuqi looked almost afraid to let go of her. Her eyes kept themselves focused on the drama in front of them, and what kept her awake were the mutters from Minnie and Miyeon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yu, how’s she…” Soyeon was the one to turn around to find Shuhua asleep on Yuqi. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shhh,” Yuqi responded. “Let her sleep. She’s been struggling the past few days.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>9:45 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Due to the nature of the upcoming week, all of the other girls had gone to bed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Soojin was wide awake, and she was tossing and turning at every single second. Sitting up, her hand reached for her phone and she paused the white noise she slept with. The silence was only brief, as the music out of Shuhua’s room was what filled the air. Forcing herself to stand up, a yawn left her lips. Every single waking thought went back to that damned flower petal. The half crimson, half snow petal. Going to pick it up, Soojin’s eyebrows furrowed quite a bit. Why couldn’t she figure out what this was?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Enclosing the petal in her hand, and sliding on a pullover, Soojin went to find a pair of shoes and her keys. She needed to clear her mind. She had to do something. Her thoughts would not stop yelling and screaming at her. As long as she was quiet, she could get away with leaving and not waking anyone up. “Phone… keys… okay, I can leave.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a huff, the quiet woman of the group was out the door and without a trace of ever leaving. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The air was a little on the cooler side that night. Seoul’s streets were calm considering the day of the week, and she could feel herself able to breathe. If she could head to Seongsu Park, she could find a spot. If she found a spot, she could scream and yell her frustrations out at the top of her lungs and no one would know. It had to be at least a ten to fifteen minute walk. The cool air felt nice, and was a welcome feeling despite the season. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t understand. I don’t,” Soojin began to talk to herself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What did I do wrong? Why won’t they tell me what’s wrong? Shuhua’s barely talking, Yuqi’s clinging onto her for dear life, Minnie suddenly got more protective, and so did Miyeon and Soyeon. Actually, I can’t even know if something happened because they just whisk Shuhua away and don’t let her talk. Like damn, man… I want to have a conversation with her too. She’s my friend as much as she’s theirs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is ridiculous,” a rock in the way got kicked onto the street. Soojin’s eyebrows were expressing anger for her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn it all, Shuhua! Why can’t you just talk to me?! I’m sick of seeing you be so distant all of the sudden. I’m sick of Minnie eyeing me like a hawk. I’m sick of the Yeons’ stares. I’m sick of Yuqi suddenly being so motherly. They’re keeping something important from me!” With a heavy sigh, Soojin finally let a tear or two fall.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why were you shuffling in your room earlier? What are you hiding from me? Shu, what’s up with this rose petal? Why did… why did Yuqi pull it out of your mouth? Why does it smell like old blood? How bad is whatever secret you’re trying to hide?” Whatever anger was in her body subsided as the cool air hit her face and the tears fell. Soojin’s shoulders fell, with her glazed over eyes looking up. She walked herself about halfway to Seongsu Park before finding a spot to sit down and bring her knees up to her chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin didn’t know the severity of Shuhua’s Hanahaki. She didn’t know much about the situation, and she just hoped that someone would eventually fill her in. Was Shuhua truly doing as horrible as everyone kept acting? Was it all just a cruel prank on her? Soojin was struggling to grasp the situation. The smell of blood from the flower petal was most of Soojin’s worries.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A rose petal, Shu… a rose petal. A white one, at that. What does it mean?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The silence took over for a moment before a sniffle broke it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Loyalty and love, but… it’s bloody, Shu. Please, someone just tell me why Yuqi pulled this out of your mouth. Someone please tell me why you fainted the other day. Why Minnie had to carry you off, and then insisted on staying the night.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Of course it was all hurting Soojin. She cared about Shuhua about as much as the other four did, maybe more. She hated seeing that Shuhua was being distant, and almost reluctant to talk. It caught her as a pleasant surprise when the maknae told her that she wanted to cook together. She knew her slightly cold nature was a little much at times, but Shuhua handled it with grace normally. And Soojin had noticed these changes in Shuhua’s behavior for a while now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How the girl went from talkative to silent. She went from the silly Maltese to a quiet mouse. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Even with a language barrier, you persisted in being my friend during our trainee days. Even if you didn’t know Korean, you stayed there and tried to talk. What happened to that? You were so bold and now you’ve lost… your bravado. Honestly, I miss it. I do. Shuhua, I… don’t know what’s going on. I really don't. I am so sorry I can’t be there for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I care about you. I always will. And if I knew how bad this truly was, I would be right next to you every single night. But I live in confusion. Is this some kind of horrible joke to get a reaction out of me? Is this real? Am I just dreaming and I’m going to wake up tomorrow near the old dojang and have to go learn under the sa bum nim that morning?” Tear-filled eyes looked up at the starry sky. Hitching a breath back, Soojin rested her head against the wall and let herself cry. She couldn’t stand crying alone now that she had gotten used to the company of her members, but… this felt different. It felt right to cry alone. Her thoughts ran a mile a minute, maybe faster. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The pain was almost becoming too much for her. The sight of seeing Shuhua so hurt was reminding her of her early teenage years, when she begged to live this life. How she couldn’t tell if her father would change his mind or not. She saw herself in Shuhua. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a shaky breath, she forced herself to look down at her hand. The white petal started mocking her. It got to the point she had to pull her phone out. Only 10:03 pm. She wasn’t gone for that long and she could tell the silence of the night was getting to herhead. Hoping someone was awake, her shaking hands texted the groupchat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Idle]<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Jinjin, 10:06 pm: Is one of you awake?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 10:06 pm: Yeah, what’s up?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Minnie Mouse, 10:07 pm: Yup, I’m up. You need something, Soo?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jinjin, 10:10 pm: Can one of you come get me? I’m halfway to Seongsu Park. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie and Yuqi both left their room and stared at each other when their doors opened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why is she by Seongsu Park?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did she even go out to begin with is the real question, Min.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shaking her head, Minnie turned into her room. “I’m going to get her. Leave the door open, Yu.” Coming out a moment later with a hoodie and sneakers on, Minnie messed with Yuqi’s hair for a moment. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’ll update you when I get her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that, Minnie was almost running out the door. Yuqi followed her into the hallway, bringing her hand up to her mouth. Was Soojin okay? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>10:25 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Soojin!” Minnie’s voice was carried by the still air. Seoul was oddly quiet that night, and it was not settling well with her. “Soojin!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin’s stifled cries ended up stopping on hearing Minnie’s voice. Standing up, she looked in the direction where it was coming from. Minnie’s tall shadow was running right for her. And the second she was close enough, Minnie pulled her into a hug. “Soojin! Why are you all the way out here? Wait… are you okay?” Gently pushing her away, she saw the puffy eyes and cheeks. The glazed over eyes. The tear that fell. “Soojin…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Minnie, I just want to know what’s going on with Shuhua.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>An alarm went off in the back of Minnie’s head. The voice inside of her thoughts gave her the realization:</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Soojin wasn’t entirely aware that her not reciprocating Shuhua’s feelings was what was wrong with Shuhua. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Either she told the truth, or she added lies to make it more tolerable. Minnie had decided to be both honest with Soojin about Shuhua, but also lie and not tell her that the unreciprocated feelings were the cause. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shu… well, she’s sick, in a way. It’s a really difficult disease to explain, Soo. Come on,” pulling Soojin into a side hug, Minnie began guiding them both back to the building. “I’ll try to explain my best in the morning. Just… trust us when we say it’s pretty bad. She loves someone, Soojin. And that person isn’t returning her feelings. It got so bad that… well, you saw what happened the other day in the studio.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She loves someone? And that person… not loving her caused it? But, who wouldn’t love Shushu? She’s the sweetest girl out there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s called Hanahaki disease, Soojin.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin’s thoughts immediately quieted down. The inside of her head matched the silence in Seoul. “Shu has the Hanahaki disease? Is that why she was shuffling this afternoon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Possibly. She might have been trying to hide the waste basket of flower petals from you. She didn’t want you to know, because she didn’t want you to worry. Or any of us, really. I get where she’s coming from.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It felt like a knife had just gotten stabbed into her heart, and twisted every way possible. Soojin looked down at the ground the rest of their walk back to the building. Only heaven or hell knew if she would be able to sleep after having to stomach that set of horrible news. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hann</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shuhua began to get worse. There were days she couldn't speak, as the petals would slowly begin to fill her mouth and then fall from it. Yuqi's fears are beginning to live out in front of her, and she's not too sure if she can handle it. Seeing Yuqi crumble and Shuhua suffer made Minnie's heart heavier. Sometimes, it was the love of a big sister that could ease up the painful moments.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yuqi-unnie!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yuqi-unnie?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was rare, but those moments were fondly remembered. Those were the memories she loved to cherish. But with the clock ticking, those memories felt like they were slipping away. Trying to grasp onto whatever is left, she feels as if her sisterly love might not be enough. She fears the worst is coming, and she sees how it’s approaching. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>From the moment Yuqi had found out about Shuhua’s Hanahaki, she felt a strong need to almost be by her side. The two shared quite a lot of similarities, and this helped forge a bond between the two. They were not just the maknae line, but also the Chinese line due to their home countries and mother language. The two spoke Mandarin when they were comfortable, and they shared a habit of being the loudest ones in the group. She could recall the times during their trainee days when Shuhua needed help with her Korean, just to be able to talk to the others. And she could recall when Shuhua approached her about helping her talk to Soojin for the first time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And while Yuqi laughed at those moments, they faded away due to the thoughts haunting her mind. She ended up jolting awake with a scream, which was loud enough to wake Minnie up in the other room. Minnie had almost kicked the door down to get to Yuqi’s room to check on her. “Yu?! Yu, are you–” A pause. She turns the light on to see a near hyperventilating and crying Yuqi on her bed. The poor girl was clutching onto her chest tightly. “Did you have a nightmare?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The rattled Yuqi looked over as her phone lit up with texts from the other girls. The time was 4:24 in the morning. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, Minnie–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Being pulled into an embrace, Yuqi felt herself shrink up and tense up. Minnie’s arms were a comforting place to be. “I’m scared, Min… I don’t want to lose Shushu…” Her voice cracked a little. Managing to lose some of the tension in her body, Yuqi wrapped her arms around Minnie and allowed herself to cry. To say she was emotional was an understatement. Yuqi’s heart was hurting for Shuhua. Behind all of the constant smiles and laughter, Yuqi was a ball of emotions. She was family oriented, and Shuhua became family to her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So the thought of having to live without her little sister one day broke her heart. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie felt Yuqi go still after a while. Looking down, she saw the girl had fallen asleep, and was essentially curled up into her body. Laying down so the two would be more comfortable, Minnie reached with her free arm for Yuqi’s phone, and decided to respond to the slew of messages.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Idle]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jinjin, 4:27 am: Yuqi?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leader Yeon, 4:27 am: Are you okay?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shushu, 4:28 am: Did something happen?!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shushu, 4:29 am: Are you okay? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Elder Yeon, 4:29 am: Why was there screaming? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Elder Yeon, 4:29 am: Did someone get hurt? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 4:35 am: It’s Minnie. No one got hurt, guys. Yuqi had a really bad nightmare and woke up screaming from it. I calmed her down and got her to fall asleep again. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 4:35 am: She’s clinging onto me like it’s the end of the world.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shushu, 4:38 am: Oh gosh. I’m glad no one got hurt. I’m going over there, Min. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 4:39 am: See you guys in the morning. And good luck getting in, Shu.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Setting the phone back down on the nightstand, Minnie turned her body to hold the sleeping Yuqi in a more comfortable position. Yuqi had calmed down quite a bit, and her breathing was a little easier than earlier. Like clockwork though, the door to the dorm opened. Shuhua quietly came in, made not a single sound, and then gently knocked on Yuqi’s door. “Min?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The door opens, and Shuhua pokes her head through, with the petals falling from her mouth as she spoke. Her phone screen lit up the face enough for Minnie to see this as she looked up. “Shu… how… you have my key, don’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A nod.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Get in, maknae,” Minnie motioned for the girl to join them on the bed, and she did. Yuqi was now sandwiched between the maknae and the foreign unnie. Feeling the warmth behind her, Yuqi shifted herself to stop clinging onto Minnie, and reached for Shuhua. The other two shared a glance before smiling. “Minnie-unnie,” Shuhua began her whispers, feeling just a few petals fall out of her mouth. “I’m scared.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Trying to keep her voice steady, she responded. “It’s gotten worse?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another nod. “Every time I talk… they just fall out of my mouth now. And it feels like something is stabbing me every time I breathe…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We… we’ll look into it in a few hours, I promise. Will you be okay trying to sleep, Maltese?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Good night, Minnie-unnie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>8:47 am</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi scrunches up her nose.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes barely open, with one closing immediately shutting due to the sun hitting it. With a soft groan, she took a look to one side. Minnie was still asleep, and a little snore gave that away. Taking a glance to the opposite side, she spotted petals on her shoulder and the bed. Shuhua, and her ever living, painful condition–– one that grew stronger as her body grew weaker from it. A little sigh. The memories from their trainee days came back to her head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And she could remember it all like it was yesterday. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just seeing a girl sitting alone in the practice room. They shared a little bit of a resemblance to each other. Yuqi went to sit down next to her, and waved. She saw the small smile on Shuhua’s face. She admitted, it was adorable. However, her mind began to wonder if she spoke any Korean. “Are you okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No response from Shuhua. She looked a little confused. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This solidified it for Yuqi. Maybe if she spoke Mandarin, things might go a little smoother. So she asks the same question, but in her native tongue. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s where she saw Shuhua perk up and smile. In fact, she looked relieved to have someone who could understand her. “You speak Mandarin too?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A nod from Yuqi. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“To answer… uh, I think so. I’m not very good with Korean, at all… actually. I moved here not that long ago from Taipei. I’m just struggling to adjust a little. I mean, I really want to give this a try and make it work, but… I’m really scared the language barrier might be what screws me over. I’m talking too much, sorry… I’m Shuhua. It’s really nice to meet you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, it’s okay. I understand how you feel, I was there about a year ago,” Yuqi gave the girl a pat on the back and a smile. “It’s nice to know someone else who speaks Mandarin. It makes things a lot easier, trust me. And don’t apologize! It’s okay to talk, and it’s really nice to meet you too. I’m Yuqi.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What was it like? Learning Korean alone?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Difficult. I’d be lying if I said it was easy. Sure, there’s… little similarities, but… even those didn’t make it any easier. It’s a new writing system, a whole new way of speaking and so on. But, like anything else, it just takes practice and use. I’m sure you’ll get it in no time, Shuhua.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You think so?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know so. Hey, if you want… I can help you out. I don’t mind translating things between Mandarin and Korean for you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Seeing Shuhua’s eyes light up, Yuqi knew she had made this girl’s day all the better. Giving her a hug, Shuhua quietly whispered:</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>9:33 am</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie had gotten up by that point. Her and Yuqi both were quietly talking in the living room, with the occasional laugh coming from either of them. A yawn caught their attention as they saw Shuhua exiting the room and trying to catch the falling petals. She waved, knowing this was one of those days she couldn’t really talk. All she did was point at her chest and closed her fist, trying to tell them that the gripping sensation had gotten stronger; that she felt as if something was squeezing the life out of her. She also made a stabbing motion towards herself, trying to say she felt that sensation as well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your chest hurts, and you feel like… something’s stabbing you?” Minnie motions for her to come sit next to her, with Shuhua walking over and nodding. Taking a seat, she leans into Minnie’s arm and gently taps on her thighs. “I have an idea. Let’s go down to the practice rooms and dance together. Just us three. We’ll do fun things today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her tone faltered. Minnie let out a sigh. “Look, I know things are really bad. I know we’re running out of time, and that we’re going to end up… having it rough for the next while. And I know being overly optimistic isn’t the answer, but… we promised you we were going to make every day with you count. We always have, but now… it just means a little more.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi was leaning on Minnie’s other arm. Her voice was quiet, which considering her energy, was unusual. She felt vulnerable, but being vulnerable was all she could do. Instead of Korean, she spoke Mandarin. “Shuhua… every single moment with you always means something to us. You give us encouragement. It’s why your nickname is Yeh Hope,” she got a small chuckle out of herself. “You’re honestly a breath of fresh air to be around. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know that we tease you a lot. I mean, it’s what big sisters do. But truly, we appreciate you, and we do love you. I know we’re sad about this all, and… it hurts to think about and to see. We’re all trying to figure out… how to help as best as we can. We love you, mèimei. We’re going to keep our heads up for you. And we’re going to be the best we can until the end. I know I can promise that for myself.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie quietly added onto that, joining the other two in speaking Mandarin. “I can promise it for me, too. I’ll do my best for us. How about… we go get some food, we get some boba, and then we lock ourselves in a practice room and have dance until we can’t? I don’t know about you two, but that sounds like a fine day to me. Yui?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m down.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shu?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A nod. Shuhua stood up and stretched, a yawn leaving her body not long after. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she texted the group chat she had with just Yuqi and Minnie. It would be the way she could make herself be understood. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Foreign Line]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maltese, 9:43 am: I’m cool with whatever we do. Boba sounds nice, honestly…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a smile, Shuhua raised a thumbs up and started heading towards the door. She was leaving to go get ready for the day. When the front door closes, Yuqi slumps over and looks up at the ceiling. She didn’t bother to speak in Korean, knowing that Minnie understood her regardless of the language. “I wish I was as strong as you some days. You just find the bright side to things so easily, Min. And especially with mèimei. I want to have a bright side to all of this. It’s just so difficult. She doesn’t deserve this at all.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yuqi, do you want me to be honest with you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re stronger than me at this moment. You’re not afraid to show how you feel in front of her. I know, I know… you think it’s weak considering all that’s going on… but, it’s not. Me hiding how I feel about all of this is the real weakness. I’m not outwardly expressing it because…” Minnie pauses. She seems to be at a loss for words. “I… I need a moment, Yu.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi looks down from the ceiling with her eyebrows raised in concern. “Minnie…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m the second eldest in the group. Miyeon’s the eldest. We had a silent agreement to try and… be there for her as big sisters. To be there for all of you. We feel as if it’s our responsibility as the ‘elders’, per se, to make sure the rest of you are okay. Speaking of people being okay… how are you doing?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, well… I haven’t been doing too good, truth be told. Ever since we found out about Shu, I’ve been losing sleep, or having horrible nightmares. The one from last night just topped the cake. It was horrible, Minnie. I was almost sure it was real and that’s why I screamed. It felt so real.” Yuqi purposely perked herself up and tried smiling. “But today’s a Shushu day. I’m gonna go get ready!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Yuqi did that, Minnie reached for her phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Idle]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Minnie Mouse, 9:49 am: Letting you other three know that if you spot us together, we’re spending the day with Shu. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Elder Yeon, 9:51 am: Thanks for letting us know. How’s Yuqi doing?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 9:52 am: I’m better.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Elder Yeon, 9:54 am: Good. Shu?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shushu, 9:58 am: Huh? Oh. I’m okay. Just a rough day with it. Can’t talk too much without it hurting. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leader Yeon, 10:00 am: As long as you’re okay. We’ll try to drop in later to check up on you three. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leader Yeon, 10:01 am: Before I forget. Yuqi, quit stealing my cookies.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 10:04 am: Never. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>12:12 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sitting on the wooden floor, Shuhua looked up at Yuqi and Minnie with the straw in her mouth. She was quietly bopping along, and happily sipping on the bubble tea. Exchanging glances with Minnie, the eldest of the three looked down at the maknae. “You okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A nod.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi took a glance over. She hadn’t spoken Korean for half of the day. Minnie was the one speaking Korean for them. “Mèimei, your tea’s keeping you quiet. Come on, get your little butt over here and dance with us,” hopping over, Yuqi extended her arms and took a hold of Shuhua’s hands. Pulling her up, she looked over to Minnie. </span>
  <span>“Jiĕjie, can you pull up something we can have fun to?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Figuring it was the polite thing to do, Minnie responded in Mandarin. She had decided in her head that to the two girls that formed the Chinese line, she’d speak in Mandarin to that day, as it was mostly Yuqi not wanting to break into tears if she spoke Korean. “How does Girls’ Generation sound to you both?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Pick the song, Shu,” Minnie hands the maknae her phone, and she goes through the albums. Something fun? Her mind immediately went to I GOT A BOY, and that’s exactly what she picked. Setting the phone down, she ran to join the other two in the center of the wooden floor, mirrors right in front of them. Despite the silence for a good thirty seconds, the three ended up bursting out into laughter (mostly due to Minnie’s varying facial expressions).</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>1:45 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was an uproar of laughter that came from Yuqi. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, okay! I get it I get it!” The poor girl was being hugged to death by Shuhua. There was a pleased expression on Shuhua’s face as she seemed to be greatly enjoying her time with the other two. Minnie rolls her eyes, looking at the time. They could go eat something, or they could go watch some television. Maybe hang out in there longer and work on their choreography. Looking to the maknae line, Minnie whistled. “Shu. Yu. Do you two want to stay in here, or go get some food and relax?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua let go of Yuqi, and pulled her over to Minnie. The maknae pressed a hand against her own collarbone, trying to cope with the pain from talking. “I…” Yuqi turns away, trying to not stare at the rose petals that would fall from Shuhua’s lips. “I think food would be nice. Honestly, I was about to ask if we could go get something to eat, Min. I’m getting hungry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie brought a hand up and gently wiped a little bit of blood off of Shuhua’s lip. “Yeah, we can go get food. Do you want me to go get it, and you stay with Yuqi?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll stay with her. We’ll be in our dorm,” Yuqi grabs her things, and Shuhua’s, before throwing the bag towards her. Shuhua catches it, and stumbles back a little. “Come on, Shu. Let’s get moving.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>6:20 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The remainder of the afternoon was eventful. Shuhua got Yuqi to laugh so hard she was crying, Minnie was taking pictures of it all, and Yuqi was living in the moment. For once, being distracted from the terrible thoughts was a fun thing. Looking down, Yuqi’s smile grew a little as she looked at the sleeping Shuhua laying across both her and Minnie’s laps. “Min, Shu’s out cold… she straight up went from awake to out like a rock.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love her, but… I’m glad she’s asleep.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay, Min?” Yuqi looks up to Minnie, who seems to be focused on the picture hanging on the wall. All six of them. She was hugging Miyeon, Yuqi was hugging Soyeon, and in the middle was Shuhua with Soojin. Yuqi’s voice quiets down. “Min?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie’s voice became quiet. A pained smile was on her face. Though she didn’t want to show tears, they began to fall the more she began to try and hold them back. “It’s moments like these that I’ll miss, Yuqi. The moments like these where we can all just be one big family. Where we can sit down like this and laugh about the stupid stuff.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi’s never really seen Minnie cry. She blinks, a little lost on what to say. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“While you were checking up on Soyeon, Miyeon, and Soojin… I had to calm her down. She wouldn’t stop throwing up, Yuqi. She’s the equivalent of a tree losing its leaves in autumn. It’s breaking my heart. I told myself I’d hold the tears back until the worst comes, but… I feel like this is as worse as it’ll get. I was holding her hair away from her face, just so the blood wouldn’t get on it,” Minnie’s eyes would not leave the picture she was staring at. The tears kept running down her cheeks.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Yuqi was at a loss for words. She didn’t know how to help. All that came out was a quiet “Jiĕjie…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yuqi, maybe we can’t ease up her pain. If sisterly love was enough to cure her, she would be better by tomorrow morning. But it’s romance that always sneaks in, creeps up on us. It can be a beautiful thing, but a deadly thing at the same time.” A sleeve wiped away her tears, but a few still fell. For a brief moment, Minnie allowed herself to mutter something in Thai. And something that Yuqi would recognize upon hearing it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s dangerous, but if you get drunk in love? You’ll never be able to escape.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Minnie, I think the thing she needs is sisterly love. She’s been scared to go to Soojin, I bet. I know you told Soojin, and… I don’t blame Shuhua for being scared,” a hand ran through Shuhua’s hair. Yuqi found a form of comfort in being able to take care of Shuhua, similar to their trainee days. Looking down at her, a small smile crept across her face. “Sisterly love is enough. Why? Because our bond can’t be broken, Minnie. Look at us.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie finally looked away from the picture on the wall and to Yuqi. She went back to speaking Mandarin. “You’re right. This bond really can’t be broken, Yuqi. We’re the three girls that catch the attention of everyone out there. Not just because we look good, or sound good… but because we share one thing in common. We’re pretty damn awesome.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi nods. “I can agree to that. To us, as the Foreign Line.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie grins. It seems full of genuine happiness. “To us, the Foreign Line.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>11:57 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Shuhua lay awake in her bed, she reached for her phone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few missed texts from Soyeon asking her if she wanted anything. Some from Miyeon, and those were mostly funny videos. The group chat with Minnie and Yuqi was active and those were lighting her screen up. And one from Soojin had come in just as Yuqi had responded as well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[From: Jjin-ah]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so sorry if you’re asleep, Shushu. But if you’re not… may I sleep in there tonight?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I miss your company. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With difficulty swallowing, Shuhua immediately went to respond to Yuqi and Minnie. More like panic to them, if anything. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Foreign Line]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maltese, 11:59 pm: Guys guys guys guys guys. Soo asked if she could sleep in here with me tonight.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Minnie Mouse, 12:00 am: I’m sorry Soojin did what–</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 12:02 am: WAIT A SECOND SHE WHAT–</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maltese, 12:03 am: Please calm down. I want to say yes, but…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 12:04 am: You’re scared she’s going to see you suffering. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Song Song, 12:06 am: OH GOD MIN LEAVE THE KEYS ALONE</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Minnie Mouse. 12:10 am: You are so lucky I love you. Fine.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Minnie Mouse, 12:11 am: Shushu, just… be careful. Yu and I are a text or a call away. Or scream, if you’re able to. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maltese, 12:14 am: Okay. Good night. And thank you for the super fun day today. &lt;3</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A heavy sigh. Shuhua leaned over the bed and spit out quite a bit of the petals. A little blood came with them, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Jjin-ah]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You can come in, Jjin-ah. I’m sorry about the mess of flowers.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And not long after, there was a gentle opening and closing of the door. Soojin yawns, before sitting on the other side of the bed and looking out the window. “Thanks, Shu. I… I might be a little jealous of the other girls. I want to help take care of you too, and considering we’re roommates… it’s only fair if I actually watch over you at night.” The taller of the two finally laid down, and pulled the maknae into a warm embrace. With a hand in Shuhua’s hair, Soojin gently played with it. “I’m sorry I haven’t been helping out much. I just… don’t know how to process all of this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It is a lot, Jjin-ah. I don’t blame you. If you were in the same spot, I would need space to process it too,” Shuhua’s voice was quiet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua… I have no idea as to what you just said.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry… Yuqi, Minnie, and I spoke Mandarin the whole day. It felt… like home. I felt safe,” the young girl chuckles it off and explains her day in Korean. “I felt really loved today, Soojin. I felt like I was with my family. Like I was home and having a good time with them, or with my best friends. I felt… happy. All of this was making us sad and… this was the first time since this happened that I laughed and smiled a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin blinks, nodding a little. “I’m glad you had fun, Shu. Maybe you can have another good day soon. Maybe Miyeon and Soyeon will spend the day with you if you ask them. I know I would if you asked nicely.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua snuggled up into Soojin, and closed her eyes. “I’ll do that. I’ll leave you for last. Since we live together and whatnot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine with that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua was still awake by the time Soojin had fallen asleep. The memories of the day were keeping her awake. The laughs, the carefree dancing… everything. She was smiling without realizing it. Yuqi’s eagerness and Minnie’s attitude had rubbed off on her that whole day. The love of a big sister was always nice, but when the two made sure she was comfortable? She truly felt at home. Her eyes open the second she knows Soojin’s truly out cold, and she looks past Soojin to the window. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In Mandarin, she murmurs as a shooting star passes by in the sky. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Yuqi. Thank you, Minnie. Thank you so much for making me feel like I was safe and at home. For taking care of me throughout all of this. For… being there when I need a friend because of everything. Thank you for just… allowing me to be me. For helping me with the blood, or with the rose petals.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A sudden pang of pain struck her. She tensed up quite a bit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know my time’s short, but… thank you for making it worth it. Thank you for being the best big sisters a girl from Taiwan can ask for.”</span>
</p>
<p>With that, Shuhua found herself closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She knew she would have dreams about the adventures and laughs with her unnies. <br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Make it Right</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Keeping their own emotions in check became increasingly difficult. The eldest of the group sit down and talk things through.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Daengdaeng Sisters deserve some love and attention. (Honestly, I love them both.)<br/>So, I present a chapter focused on our unnies, and how they're dealing with the situation.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“My favorite part is Shuhua’s part. She did this thing thinking it was cool, and turned out to be cute.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Behind the scenes at every performance was a ball of energy when it came to the six girls. It was those kinds of days that they wish they could hold onto forever. The eldest of the group looked at each other on a somber note one morning, knowing they had things to get off of their chest before the maknae’s time ran out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>8:45 am</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Some Saturday mornings didn’t feel right. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some Saturday mornings felt like they were bound to turn from bad to worse.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That feeling was haunting Miyeon. Running a hand through her hair, the eldest of the group began her day with the uneasy feeling chipping away at her sanity. Opening the door to the bedroom, a note was stuck to the handle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Out for the day. Working on new music. Will be home for dinner.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Take care of yourself, Miyeon. &lt;3</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>~Soyeon’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a blink, and a bit of a smile creeping up on her lips, Miyeon took the note down and folded it up. Placing the note in her pocket, the eldest let a yawn out and went to start her day. It was a fairly simple routine: take a shower, brush her teeth, get dressed, and move on with the remainder of the day. But as Miyeon dried her hair with her towel, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. “God, Shuhua…” She quietly started. “There’s so many things I need to thank you for, and no time to do it.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bringing her hand up to the still foggy mirror, Miyeon ran her fingers across the glass to clear up where her eyes are. She could see it–– the way they were glazing over just at the thought. While the younger members were more apt to showing emotion, the eldest members were trying to hold themselves together. Miyeon was no exception to this. She felt a heavy responsibility as the eldest of the group. While Minnie had carried that torch for quite a while now with Shuhua, Miyeon was ready to take the torch and run with it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a nod to herself, she continued to dry her hair with the towel as she walked back into her room. Her phone had lit up with a message from a few minutes ago. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[From: Soojin]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Where’s Soyeon? I can’t get a hold of her. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Soojin]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>At the office. She’s most likely working on production for something. She said she’d be back for dinner, though. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[From: Soojin]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gotcha. Thanks Miyeon-unnie. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon blankly stared at her screen for a moment. Soojin rarely said unnie herself. She said it more about Minnie than her, but she was not going to question it. Just as she was about to lock her phone again, a message from Minnie comes through.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[From: Minnie]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Can I come over there and we talk? It’s serious, Miyeon. I think things got worse.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was no hesitation from Miyeon as she rapidly responded and set her phone down. With the towel around her neck, her eyes began to scan around the dorm for something to calm herself down with. It was a mindless panic now, but it would haunt her later on. Those words would not leave, as they had anchored themselves in her head. Was she really seeing what was becoming Shuhua’s final days? Was she prepared for the pain of losing a family member? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Was Miyeon truly ready to say goodbye to her maknae?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Of course not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No big sister was ever ready to say goodbye to her little sister. Miyeon was no exception to this. As the towel draped over her shoulders, a few strands of wet hair stuck to her face. She pushed those out of the way, and sat down on the loveseat with hands on either knee. The soft murmuring of the television kept Miyeon grounded before a knock at the door snapped her out of her trance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Standing up and heading for the door, Miyeon moves more of her hair out of her face. It was a slight annoyance at best. Opening the door, she stepped to the side so Minnie could come in. “You’re up early, Miyeon. Didn’t sleep well or something?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I actually woke up to my alarm for once. It just felt right,” Miyeon grinned, giving Minnie a hug before going to get the two of them a bottle of water. Minnie went to sit down where Miyeon was originally sitting, having her attention elsewhere before catching the bottle last second. The nearly delayed reaction scored a laugh out of the unnies of the group. Better to start off the day with laughter rather than tears, she liked to tell herself. “So, Min… what’s going on? You said you think things got worse? What does worse mean, exactly?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua barely leaves her dorm now a days. We’ve gone to check up on her and… the poor thing, Miyeon. I’ve never seen so much damn blood come from a human being. She’s a lot paler, and looks a lot more frail. I think the roots are finally settling themselves in her body. Now it’s just a matter of time if the thorns kill her, or if the love kills her. Speaking of love–” a sip. “–Soojin’s been a lot more… clingy lately. Like, ‘attached at the hip and doesn’t want to let go of Shuhua’ kind of clingy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon ended up hissing under her breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think she’s starting to realize something’s really up. While we can’t hide this from Soojin, it’s not right to tell her either. It could–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Worsen Shuhua’s condition. Soojin…” A groan from the eldest. “Damn it all, honestly. Those two are a disaster with their feelings. I hate that it got this bad. I really do. Anyways… you mentioned the blood. Is it just a daily thing now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A nod. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s really bad, Yeon. There’s a trail of flowers from the bathroom to her room. Her room is worse. There’s rose petals everywhere, white and red. One petal sticks out from her mouth almost at all times. If anything, it’s that and a leaf too. Soojin’s been panicking as of late, especially with trying to clean the blood up and stuff. When Yuqi and I went to give Shuhua a plate of food, we walked in on Soojin frantically wiping her lips and chin and everything.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesus… seriously?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish I was kidding. But I really do fear the worst is right on the horizon, Miyeon. And I feel like I haven’t done enough for her. I just feel like I haven’t been the best–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Big sister. I know, it’s eating you alive,” Miyeon reaches for Minnie’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I know the feeling all too well. Soyeon and I spent the day with her not too long ago and… it wouldn’t stop bothering me. Trust in my words, Nicha, because I don’t lie about how I feel.” For her to have called Minnie by her name was something. Miyeon did know the exact feeling Minnie was describing though. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon, do you think there’s a way to make… the inevitable less painful?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope there is. And if we can’t find it, we make our own. We’re the eldest of the group; we have to make sure everyone’s okay by the end of the day. Sure, Soyeon does that already as our leader, but that big sister responsibility is still on us,” a small smile crept onto Miyeon’s face. Though, that faded when she saw how Minnie started tearing up. Pulling her into another hug, she allowed the younger woman to cry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With Miyeon, Minnie felt safe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Minnie, Miyeon could be herself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A friendship that knew no boundaries. Minnie’s sniffles come and interrupt the air. “Unnie, I’m terrified. What if we don’t save her in time? What if we can’t find the thing she likes? What if we failed her, Miyeon? I don’t want to disappoint her when she’s so–</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Shhh,” her voice quiets up. Miyeon starts to trace little circles on Minnie’s back, trying to provide a form of comfort. “Nicha… how long have you been holding back the tears? The emotions? You’re shaking…” Tightening the embrace, something popped up into her head. Regardless of them being the eldest, they were also human too. And by the looks of it, Minnie was trying her best to keep her emotions together in front of the girls so she wouldn’t worry them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m trying to be strong for them, Miyeon,” the crying Minnie looks up at Miyeon with pained eyes. “I want to be strong for them. They need their big sisters there. But… who’s there for the big sisters when they need someone?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know. You’re being one of the strongest people I know. You ARE one of the strongest people I know. And we have to be there for eachother–– all of us. I know you’re finding it difficult to talk to the younger girls, but you have to. Just as they trust you, you’ve gotta trust them. But really, I know exactly how you feel. I struggle talking about all of this with them too, especially since they’re all caught up in their emotions. We’ll be okay. Do you believe me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good. Do you need a minute?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Please don’t let go, Yeonnie.” Minnie buried herself into the hug again, with Miyeon holding onto her in a protective sort of embrace. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>10:16 am</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie scrunches her nose up as she looks up. She was in Miyeon’s embrace, on the loveseat, and Miyeon was out cold. They must’ve fallen asleep after a little while. Though, she wasn’t mad about it either. It was nice to have someone be there, especially when they knew the struggle she was going through. “Yeonnie… wake up.” Minnie freed one of her arms, and gently poked Miyeon’s cheek with her index finger. “Yeonnie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A soft groan from Miyeon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Either she was having a good dream, or she was tired. Safe to assume both. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We fell asleep on the couch.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know… I fell asleep after–” a yawn. “–you did. You look a lot calmer at least, so… maybe it was worth the small nap,” with a sleepy smile, Miyeon yawns again. Minnie gets off of her to allow her to sit up. “I have an idea, Min. Since we both have been busy taking care of the other girls, I say we take this day for ourselves. How does that sound?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d love that. I need a break from being a big sister,” Minnie ran her hands through her hair and softly groaned as she leaned against the back of the loveseat. “It’s always the question of like… who’ll take care of us, when we take care of everyone else, you know? It’s just difficult to show how I feel around them. They’re all already just… so sad. I want to be the optimist. The happy one, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know that feeling. I’ve been trying to keep Soyeon from a horrible slump. She’s just so worried. She’s been losing sleep over it. Not as bad as Yuqi, per se… but, bad enough. She can’t fathom the fact she’s going to have to go on without Shuhua. It’s rough to accept that fact, too. It is, and it’ll always break my heart. And speaking of Yuqi, how is she handling things?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s either sobbing most of the time, or sleeping. She’s struggling to sleep because of nightmares. I’ve had to sleep in the same bed as her, since it keeps her calm when she wakes up in the middle of the night. The poor thing shakes a lot after she wakes up from a nightmare,” Minnie’s gaze travels across the wall in front of her, before she closes her eyes and forces her gaze up to the ceiling moments later. “I’ve only ever seen her so torn up once before. I know you remember that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A nod from Miyeon.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is eating at her heart and her mind. Her and Shuhua do share a special relationship. Yuqi became one of her first friends when she moved from Taiwan. She helped Shuhua with her Korean. Yu became a slice of home for Shu… I could never imagine how she feels. I could personally not handle it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I truly feel bad for Yuqi. She’s been taking this the hardest,” Miyeon reaches for her water bottle and uncaps it. “She’s not been smiling a lot. I don’t blame her, but I miss her smile.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And Soyeon? How has she been holding up, Yeonnie?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her throat felt dry, even as she drank from the bottle. Her breath hitches, forcing her to stop and cough. Much like Minnie, Miyeon struggled in her own ways. Some thoughts were not kind, and some realizations were not entirely the best–– similar to some memories and experiences being the very things keeping her awake at night on occasions. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” she manages to get out through another cough. Setting the bottle back down on the coffee table, Miyeon ran her hands through her hair and let out a long sigh. “Soyeon’s not handling it too well either. She can’t find the words to really vent about this. I think it’s the reason she’s been going to the office and recording and stuff. Music is her outlet to feel better. She did let me listen to a little bit of the song she’s working on right now. It’s so sweet, yet so sad, Minnie. It’s for Shuhua. Almost like a parting gift, like an ‘I’ll see you later’ kind of vibe.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s very somberly sweet.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It is. She asked me a few days ago to be ready to come in with my guitar. I have a feeling she wants all of us to take part in it. It really is a sweet gesture, but the heavy meaning behind it is such a haunting thought.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>12:38 pm </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon! I got our food,” Minnie comes in through the door, bags in hand. Miyeon looks up from her book, smiling. “I hate asking, but please tell me you have something other than water? Not that there’s anything wrong with water, but it would be nice to not drink my third bottle so–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you like your coffee?” The eldest stands up, placing the bookmark in the book before closing it. “I knew you were going to ask about the water, so I went ahead and brewed some coffee. Figured it would be a nice change.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well damn, thinking ahead now, are we?” Minnie’s lips curled up into a grin, with Miyeon rolling her eyes and laughing. “In all seriousness, Miyeon… should we at least try to check on Shuhua later? Maybe Soojin won’t be clinging onto her for dear life when we go visit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Here’s to hoping. But… I don’t know if I can handle it. I barely handled this whole situation when she first fainted in front of us a while ago,” with a soft sigh, Miyeon set down both cups of coffee on the table. She gently slid a pink mug towards Minnie, keeping the white one for herself. “That was a nightmare to watch. I felt like I was glued to my spot, Min. I honestly could not move or breathe, even if I wanted to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I never really got to hear much from you after that. What was that like? Aside from a literal nightmare?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, truth be told, it was like watching a family member suddenly faint. My throat dried up, and nothing came out of my mouth, even with the words at the tip of my tongue. I always feared it would happen during a performance. She does work extremely hard, but… this? This was...that fear, but worse. Seeing her struggle for her breath in front of the mirror like that was like someone ripping a picture in two. A picture you treasure, if you understand what I mean by that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie’s eyes scanned up and down Miyeon’s figure. She saw how the eldest tensed her body up, and how her shoulders went up just a little. Every single little detail seemed so small, but in that moment? It was practically the only thing Minnie could focus on. Miyeon’s eyebrows furrow as she lifts up the coffee mug to her lips. Talking about it made her feel better, but at the same time, it replayed the memory in her head like an old record. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How much longer do you reckon she has left, Nicha?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“At this rate, Miyeon? I can’t say if she’ll live to see tomorrow. Truly, it was a horrible sight to be witness to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For Minnie to have been called by her name, and vice versa with Miyeon, meant the two were serious. They looked at each other with a seemingly unreadable glance before one softened up to a worried look. The other just went to a comforting type of glance. Despite the silence, they understood what they were saying to each other in their heads. The silence made the moment all the better, as the two set down whatever was in their hands and pulled each other into a tight embrace. They knew what was coming for them in the near future. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While loud they were with their members, the eldest of the group preferred gentle moments of silence when they got them. And having to be there for everyone took a toll, no matter how much they loved the rest. A sniffle broke through the silence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie’s tears were running from her eyes as she hugged Miyeon, while Miyeon held hers back. Her eyes were glazed over, similar to how Minnie’s cheeks were stained with tears. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Strength is not determined by our silence, Nicha. It’s determined by our will to show our emotions. Our vulnerability is what makes us strong. Yes, we have to show the girls good examples of healthily coping, but we also can’t close ourselves off. Promise me that no matter what happens, you won’t be afraid to show them that feeling is okay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise,” the cracked voice answered with wavering confidence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>4:01 pm</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The day went by slower than they wanted. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon found herself groaning at the television, before turning it off and laying down on her loveseat. The arm that was over the edge and reaching the floor came up to the coffee table. Her phone was buzzing with messages from Soyeon, Shuhua, and Minnie.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[From: Soyeon]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m heading home. I finished up for the day. Emotions got the best of me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>See you soon.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[From: Shuhua]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Unnie. Unnie unnie unnie. Minnie-unnie said you two were coming later. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I hope you do. I miss you. :(</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[From: Minnie]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know if I can handle seeing Shuhua in such a pained state. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I keep it droning on about it but… damn. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a lot. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeonnie, it gets to a point where it haunts your every thought. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know we need to be optimistic but now that I think about what you said earlier… maybe I do need to show a little more emotion. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Sure, showing Shushu a little extra love won’t kill her. But…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Soyeon. Soojin. Yuqi, poor Yuqi. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They need a good example. You and I are it, are we not?</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>We’re the eldest. We need to do better. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll be there soon. Thank you for letting me vent earlier. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon pauses upon reading Minnie’s messages. She seems to be rereading the line about the advice she gave earlier. With a nod to herself, Miyeon lets out a chuckle as she responds. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Minnie]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>We’ll be the best example. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And you’re welcome. I’ve always got your back. &lt;3</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If only there was something fun to watch on TV,” she went back to having her phone on the coffee table and staring up at the ceiling. “I actually can’t believe I’m about to ask Soojin for a drama recommendation.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How was Minnie’s side of things?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, easier after the talk with Miyeon, but still difficult. A little too difficult at the moment, actually. She was staring at herself in the mirror, tightly gripping onto the countertop. Her knuckles were turning white from how hard she was holding on. It was a raging ocean of emotions, and she was feeling too many of them at once. Every single thought kept coming and hitting her inside to the point she pushed herself off of the edge of the countertop and to the wall. The thud against said wall got Yuqi’s attention from her phone, and she was scurrying out of her bed to knock on the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Min?! Min! Open the door!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No response but a hitched breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“OPEN THE DOOR, MINNIE. I WILL KICK IT DOWN.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, okay–” A trembling hand fiddles around with the lock before the door swings open. Yuqi pulls Minnie into a hug after seeing her face, gently going to the floor with her. The look in her face gave it away to Yuqi that she was struggling. Minnie started to shake a little, but Yuqi’s tight embrace was helping to keep her calm. “Yu–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, unnie. I know. It hurts a lot too, and you can’t really hide it anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie froze up almost instantly from that comment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t blame you for wanting to hide it, Min. You’re just trying to look out for me. I appreciate it a lot, I do. But you can’t keep holding it in, it’s not healthy. I know you don’t want us, especially me, to worry about you, but… it’s okay. Really, it is. You’re like the rest of us, and you need to feel things too. It’s a rough as hell situation with an extremely complicated outcome, and it won’t stop playing in my head… but… you have to keep your head up while also allowing yourself to healthily vent.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to be there for you guys. I… I feel bad because I can’t be there for Shuhua, so I feel a little responsible for being so absent. It’s why I’m focused on everyone instead of myself.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well quit it, you dummy. It’s not benefiting you in the end, it’s just hurting you. Come on, let’s go visit Shushu.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me a moment. Text Miyeon, she wants to come visit Shu too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Letting go of Minnie, Yuqi gently gave her a pat or two on the cheek before standing up and smiling a little. She nods, disappearing off into the living room and reaching for her phone. Although she hated seeing Minnie so torn apart by something, Yuqi was glad she could see Minnie being vulnerable with her emotions. Considering the circumstances, it brought them just a little closer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not too far ahead of all of this, Miyeon had met up with the other two and was walking down the hall. The one to knock on the door was Yuqi, and said door was opened by a pale Soojin. There was a little blood on her hands, and it was probably from trying to either clean up the petals or take care of Shuhua.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon? Minnie? Yuqi?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Soo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Soosoo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Soojin.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping to the side, Soojin allowed for the other three to come in. Soyeon stood up from her spot on the couch and went to tightly hug Yuqi. The fear and pain in her eyes told Yuqi she had seen Shuhua and that it must’ve gotten worse. For her own sake, Yuqi pointed to Shuhua’s door and shook her hand, saying she refused to go in. Minnie exchanged a look with Miyeon and the two nodded, heading in together. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A muffled </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeobbun.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>came from Shuhua. The maknae swallows, or tries to, but ends up having to let mostly tainted rose petals fall from her mouth. She reached up for a hug, with a crying Minnie and a teary-eyed Miyeon getting on either side of the girl and hugging her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shushu…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I–” A hitched breath. “I’m okay, unnies. It’s not as bad as some days, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” Miyeon’s voice was essentially in Shuhua’s ears. But instead of the energetic yells, it was a whisper. “We’re sorry we haven’t visited much, Shu. We’ve been trying to keep the group together emotionally. This… hurts. It hurts seeing you like this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, Miyeon-unnie. I’m glad you guys are all together. Even when we’re not all together, we’re–” A cough. Minnie’s eyes widened in horror as she saw the blood drip from the corner of Shuhua’s lip. “–we’re all still a big family.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon caught sight of Minnie’s almost gone pale face, and then saw the blood close to her. Her lips parted open and her eyes widened, with her shaking a little. It had really gotten to such a terrible progression, and it wasn’t going to get any better, unfortunately. The eldest of the group both looked at each other in horror, before their eyes met the maknae. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite everything going on, Shuhua still managed to smile as if it was a normal day. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That very smile was what broke Minnie’s heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That very smile was what broke Miyeon’s optimism. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They realized Shuhua was self aware of her clock ticking away. They realized at that moment, that they had one last chance to be her unnies before the raging tides finally became still. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Fake Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Leadership was a task not many were cut out for. Soyeon was the paragon of a leader, but in knowing her maknae's clock was about to strike zero, she felt helpless.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After this, we jump into the endings. The first ending being the original (Chapter 6), and then the alternate ending as Chapter 7. </p>
<p>Thank you so much for sticking along for the ride, and for enjoying this. Stay tuned, because I have a fantasy-heavy work with OT6 (featuring Mamamoo) coming soon.<br/>I also have a special Yuqi-centric work coming soon too~ </p>
<p>Should note that this chapter jumps ahead of time quite a bit. While the other chapters remain in a relative position to each other (around the 3 month mark of the disease), this jumps to the fifth month. I purposely extended this and made it as slow as possible just so I have a little more leeway in writing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“I felt bad when we were photoshooting. But, you helped me feel better. My bad feelings disappeared thanks to you. You make me become a better person. Thank you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Being a leader was never easy. Schedules, constant pressure to perform, but sometimes it was easy going. This however, was not the case. There were moments that she wished would remain forever, but like life, they would be cut short at tragic times.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon jolted awake in a cold sweat. Her chest rose and fell rather fast, with her eyes darting around the room. Just as the darkness felt like it had gripped her neck and began to choke her, the rustling from the door brought her back to her senses. A rather sleepy Miyeon opened the door up, turned the lights on, and looked at the leader with half-closed, but worried eyes. “You okay, Soyeon? I heard a thud come from in here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A thud?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, now it makes sense as to why her head hurt slightly. Maybe she hit herself against something on accident while she slept.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Miyeon,” the leader gave a nod. She brought her hand up to the back of her neck and let it rest there. “Probably hit something while I was asleep. What time is it? I didn’t mean to wake you up if I…” Soyeon reached for the phone on her nightstand and turned it on for a brief moment. 2:43 am. Makes sense as to why Miyeon was looking like she wasn’t listening. Soyeon did have to admit though, that seeing Miyeon’s hair be so messy was hilarious. Smiling a little, Soyeon reassured Miyeon once more that she was okay. It was a small conversation, but at least by 2:50, Miyeon was back in bed and sound asleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon on the other hand, was not. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>From a young age, she knew she wanted to be a leader. She didn’t know what type, but she wanted to guide others to a desired outcome. After having done Unpretty Rapstar, and PD 101, she found herself being put into that position. She remembered the first time all six of them sat together in a room. Miyeon’s intimidating looks, Minnie’s bright smile, Soojin’s intense stare, Yuqi’s energetic personality, and Shuhua’s honesty. However, the sadder moments came by as well. Shuhua sitting alone in the stairwell, her cries echoing up and down the emptiness. Soyeon sat down next to her and had pulled her into a tight hug, doing her best to comfort the crying maknae. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Staring at the wall in front of her, Soyeon brought the hand that was resting on the back of her neck to her forehead, before letting it go through her hair. Those easy going days were gone, and Soyeon hated to admit that. She was a busy woman, but… this was something she would’ve never expected. The weight of always being busy began to hit her like a freight train to an unsuspecting victim on its tracks. “You know, Shuhua… you were always interesting. From your trainee days to now, you never cease to surprise me with your energy,” Soyeon began to murmur. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You never let anything stop you. Even that language barrier when we first started out. You worked hard every day and every night to not only learn everything for our debut, but the language alone. You wanted to be friends with us, and here we are now. Years later, all of us can laugh at each other and say stupid stuff. But also, years later… you’ve finally hit a wall. You can’t climb this wall. It’s been what… maybe two months since we found out from that day you fainted? It’s been rough, if I’m being honest with you. Watching you struggle hits differently.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua, I know I’m harsh sometimes. I have to be, it’s part of my responsibility to keep the rest of you in line. But recently, I have been more hands off. I’ve been trying to cope with the fact you’re possibly gone so soon. And you’re a light that shines like no other. You know, Shuhua… I’ve been in the studio a lot. More than ever, and it seems like I’m working on something that’s secret… but in reality, it’s for you. If music could be the true cure to all of the problems in this world, you would be smiling with us. We could be one complete group again. If music could be the one true cure, the world would be a little brighter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know it might be too late when the song is ready. It might be too late to say a proper goodbye in the nearing weeks. And though you say I’ve helped you and taught you, you don’t realize how much you’ve done for me. You taught me that it’s okay to speak my mind around the others. Shuhua, you… really are the glue of this group. You’re not just our maknae, but you’re our sister. You openly defend us and try to cheer us up. I will never be able to thank you enough.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon forced herself to get up, and her feet took her to the bathroom. Leaning over the sink, she looked up at the mirror. Just for a moment, instead of herself, she saw Shuhua smiling. Almost as if she was seeing a ghost. And what made things worse for her? Soyeon could hear Shuhua’s soft voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Soyeonnie! It’s okay! I’ll always be with you. We’re forever Yeoja Aideul, even if I’m gone.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tears began to well up before falling seconds later. Soyeon’s once pale face was replaced with reddening cheeks and a pink nose. The image of Shuhua in the mirror was replaced by her own reflection. She was not one for tears, but when Soyeon was in tears, it meant she was at her emotional limit. “We’re Yeoja Aideul… even when you’re gone…” The words hurt to repeat. It tore at her inside, knowing that the group would go from six to five. It felt like a glass being shattered by a rock– like a chain being broken. Turning the water on, Soyeon leans down and splashes her face with as cold as possible water. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we really be that without you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon lost track of time. Even if it was ten minutes that she had spent staring at herself in the mirror and splashing her face with water, she didn’t feel attached to time. Turning the light off and exiting the bathroom, her first thought was to go turn her lights off. The second her finger flipped the switch, she turned right back around and went down the little hall to Miyeon’s door. There was a brief silence in which she stood, unsure if she should even knock. Her knuckles were just centimeters from the door, why didn’t she? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t have anything to lose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, she knocks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A disgruntled groan came from the other side. The shuffling from the other side of Miyeon’s door was loud, and once the half-asleep Korean opened the door, she looked down. “Yes, Soyeon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I sleep in here for the rest of the night, Miyeon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, come on. Just don’t wake me up again,” a yawn. Miyeon left the door open for the younger of the two to come in as she flopped back over onto the bed. Soyeon watched as Miyeon easily fell back into her sleep, a little envious that it was easy for her. Though, she did have a feeling that like her, Miyeon was struggling. It was something she noticed about both Minnie and Miyeon:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of them really said much on the matter around the other four. They seemed to be quite private about it. In a way, Soyeon couldn’t blame them for it. Much how they were the eldest, and had a responsibility to look out for them, Soyeon was the same way but this was because she was the leader. Her mind reeled as she slid under the covers and curled up towards Miyeon, closing her eyes. She just hoped that she had enough time to say goodbye.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>9:58 am</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A pulling motion kept Miyeon laying down. Looking over to the side, she saw the curled up and sleeping Soyeon tightly hugging her arm. With a yawn, she freed her arm up and sat up, gently adjusting herself and Soyeon so that Soyeon’s head was in her lap. Now looking down at the sleeping leader, Miyeon ran both of her hands through her hair. “She looks like she had a rough night,” the eldest muttered to herself, reaching for her phone. Her mind immediately went to Minnie, and she quickly texted the other half of her circle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[To: Minnie]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You, me, and Soyeon.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Studio or practice room. I’ll tell you in a little bit.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Be there in an hour.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If you need to bring Yuqi, bring her.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The stirring from Soyeon got Miyeon’s attention. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My head hurts…” Soyeon sleepily mumbled. “Unnie… make it stop.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get up, So. If you get up, I can go get you an ice pack to put where you hit your head last night,” the eldest Yeon grins a little, gently tapping the younger Yeon’s nose. “In all seriousness, Soyeon… are you okay? You look really rough.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I’m not, Miyeonnie. I haven’t been okay for a few months, and everything’s a mess. I literally go to work to distract myself from the fact that my friend is about to die. I’ve been struggling to sleep for the last few months, I’ve been rattling my brain to write a proper goodbye… I don’t understand how you do it, Miyeon. I don’t know how you and Minnie both do it. I know, I know… I need to step it up, I’m the leader of–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jeon Soyeon, hush. You better not let another word come out of those lips.” A heavy sigh left Miyeon’s body. “Just because you’re our leader does not mean you need to be such a hardass about it, either. It hurts, I know it does. And Minnie? This is killing her, Soyeon. I’ve never seen her break down so horribly before, and I mean, she’s as bad as Yuqi is. We’re all devastated, it’s okay to show it. It took Minnie and I a few months to realize that we, as the eldest of the group, need to show you younger girls that it’s okay to cry! It’s okay to show how you feel. Soyeon, really, you don’t need to step up when you’re doing more than enough.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How you manage to both insult and comfort at the same time is beyond me, Miyeon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sometimes you just have to say the truth, and the truth sometimes hurts. Anyways, get dressed, we’re going to the office in an hour or so. You, Minnie, maybe Yuqi, and I need to talk. I know you want to show Shuhua that song before the inevitable happens, so… let’s finalize it today. Maybe it’ll not only help you, but also us. I’ll bring my guitar.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon looks up to finally make eye contact with Miyeon, before tearing up with a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>11:00 am</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The four girls sat quietly in the practice room. Miyeon with the guitar, Soyeon with a drum, Minnie on a keyboard, and Yuqi was sitting in front of a guzheng. The silence became almost unsettling for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Unnies… your go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Looking up from her lap, Minnie gently set her hands on the keys and made eye contact with Miyeon, who nodded as a response. Another moment of silence, before a gentle plucking sound filled the air. It was a hauntingly beautiful start, just the keyboard and the guitar. It sounded almost like a story was being told, and a rather tragic one at that. Yet… despite the somber tone, it sounded ethereal. Yuqi watched Miyeon with a form of admiration, and Soyeon kept her eyes on Minnie. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She never truly understood how Minnie could capture deep emotion and turn it into music.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A gentle tap on the drumhead with her fingertips. Another. Soyeon’s hands began to gently tap in a quiet ostinato, following the tempo set by Minnie’s left hand. There were no lyrics, just the instruments singing for them. Instrumental work might not be a forte of hers, but Soyeon felt as if it was appropriate. If one listened close enough, they could hear the melody of the guitar. That was the true focus for a while. A melody in the relative major key, describing the swiftness and energy of the girl they were soon to lose. The piano sang the melody in the minor key, telling the story of the dance she was having with death.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The drum was representative of the heartbeat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And the guzheng?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A reminder of home. Yuqi knew after several minutes, and a rather interesting pause, that it would be her turn. The focus in her eyes as she methodically moved her hands. It was almost mesmerizing to watch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leadership was a double edged sword sometimes. Sure, it was one of the best things to happen in her life. She loved the five girls. Hell, they became family to her from day one. But as she watched Yuqi bring the instrumental to a close, Soyeon couldn’t help but think of the negatives of leadership. Or rather, what she considered mistakes she made. The first one that came to her head was the fact that she didn’t even go to check on Shuhua the day she fainted. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why did she stand still?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Was it the fear?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shock?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon never truly understood what kept her frozen to her spot that day. She remembered it all too clearly, and it was all way too vivid for her liking…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What the hell just happened to Shuhua?” Soojin’s worried tone made her voice crack a bit. “Someone please tell me what’s going on. Miyeon? Soyeon?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We don’t know either, Soojin! We’re just as shocked as you are! Do you think we expected for Shu to just randomly faint?” Miyeon’s tone was just as sharp, and it cut through the air like a sharpened blade to a fruit. The tension between the two made Soyeon feel uncomfortable. Though, that was just the beginning of it. Soyeon was still frozen to her place for a few minutes while the two bickered, and she did not know what to do at that moment. She felt lost, and without Minnie or Yuqi there, she knew hell was going to break loose. Seeing that the two were about to walk towards each other, the smallest of the group got between them and extended her arms. One hand held Miyeon’s collar, and the other held Soojin’s.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Enough! Both of you, enough!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Eh?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ah?!–”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you two just going to sit there and argue like little children?! Or are both of you going to grow up and get your shit together?” Though she be little, she be fierce. “Seriously, you two are arguing because no one knows what’s going on? I don’t have an idea as to what just happened but you don’t see me coming at your throats. Seriously, you’re both seniors to half of us. Act like it! Soojin, go cool off,” the hand holding onto Soojin’s collar pushes her away. Soyeon looks up at Miyeon with a gaze as sharp as their tones were earlier. “And you? You’re the eldest! You’ve been a trainee once before, and I know for a fact this is not how you acted when you got upset! I know it hurts, I just witnessed one of my little sisters faint! Get some sense into yourself, Miyeon!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Miyeon took a hold of Soyeon’s wrist and pushed the smaller girl back. However, she looked up to see Soojin leaning against the wall, hugging herself. Her eyes drifted back down to Soyeon, who looked rather pissed that she just got pushed back like that. Letting go of her wrist, Miyeon pulls Soyeon into a hug and doesn’t dare to look away from Soojin. When Soojin felt eyes on her, she just looked over, the expression on her face clearly reflecting hurt. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I want to know what’s going on with her too, damn it…” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Soyeon got herself out of Miyeon’s embrace and looked between them both. “And whatever’s going on with Shuhua, we need to be there for her. All three of us. Minnie and Yuqi are already close to her, and we should be too. Okay? No more fighting over who knows what. All that matters is that we stay as one unit! Not split off into multiple because we can’t agree on something!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As the guzheng’s last note rang in the silent air, Soyeon looked up with glossy eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie saw it, as did Miyeon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi only nodded, wiping one of her own tears away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“To think we have to say goodbye hurts,” the Thai breaks the silence. “Shuhua became a part of our family from the day she started training with us. When we got her, we became a unit. A family at this point in our careers. And she’s gone so soon because she fell in love with the wrong girl. It’s stupid to think that love is such a cruel thing, but that’s the very emotion teaing us away from her. Shuhua got drunk in love, and now she can’t escape.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a dangerous thing,” Yuqi gently pulls on her sleeves. “Falling in love, that is. It almost always starts out one sided, if you think about it. But… this? This is just sad. Soojin doesn’t see how horribly this girl loves her. I say it’s a gut feeling, but… something tells me Soojin might realize it’s too late. And I don’t want to assume things,” another tug of the collar, “but I think she’s been conflicted about her own feelings. Soo, that is. Maybe she does love Shuhua, guys, and it could be that she just doesn’t know how to express it. Truth be told, if I saw the person I think I like coughing up blood and flowers, I would not know how to express it either.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon gently rested the guitar on the floor, and then gripped onto her knees tightly. “That could be the case, and I just hope it is the case that Soojin is confused and doesn’t know how to express it. Because if this truly is one sided, I can’t see myself forgiving her. Soojin was her first friend in Korea–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yah!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Amongst us of the Korean line, Yuqi. Obviously you were her very first friend, you two share a mother language. My point is, the two have a special relationship that cannot be denied. And I would honestly feel terrible if Shuhua’s love was truly just one sided.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon found herself nodding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No matter what happens, we need to do our best to make sure we can at least see her smile one last time. Shuhua’s clock is near zero, from what Minnie and Yuqi say. Normally, it would’ve killed her by now, but she’s been fighting it to stay alive for us. We owe her more than just our lives for being so persistent in wanting to be with us. She made herself suffer just to continue to see us smile. It reminds me of something Yongsun sunbaenim once told me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yongsun… Yongsun…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Solar, Min.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mamamoo’s leader, Minnie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. She once told me that leadership is like a double edged sword. It can be your greatest weapon and asset, helping you through the many struggles and obstacles to come our way. But she also said it’s a curse. It can hurt you as bad as it could hurt others if you’re not careful with your thoughts and decisions,” the leader sat upright. “We found ourselves in a tight spot where the blade could either help us and break the lock to the door we need to take, or it could come back and stab us. Case and point, we have to decide here and now what’s going to happen to the group once she’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The air became eerily still. Yuqi’s eyes widened, and her face lost whatever color it had. Minnie’s expression began to quiver from a deadpan face to one about to be full of tears. Miyeon lost all grip on her knees as her eyes darted to Soyeon. The other three did not want to admit it, but she was right. There had to come a point where they had to decide the fate of the group without their maknae. Would they remain as five members, or disband and go their separate ways? The weight of the words darkened everyone’s moods. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Call Soojin, and make sure she has us on speaker. I know we don’t want to talk about this,” a sharp inhale from the leader, “but it has to be done. I have a bad feeling if it waits… we won’t have the most important voice in this case. While we all have equal footing, we need to–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ask Shuhua.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Soyeon, the decision you’re about to make most leaders can’t. And the fact you’re involving all of us is very admirable,” Miyeon straightened herself up. “But, are you sure you can handle the conversation? Can any of us in here handle what’s going to be the fate of our group of six?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If you think for a second I can, you’re mistaken,” Yuqi whistled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We know, Yuqi. We know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon ran a hand through her hair and nodded. “It has to be done, whether we like it or not. Minnie, can you call Soo–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“On it,” Minnie was essentially on her phone by the time Soyeon had asked her to do that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A sleepy and weak Shuhua reached for the phone, and barely got a hold of it before Soojin almost snatched it out of her hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Minnie?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Put me on speaker. We need to talk, all six of us. I know we’re not face to face, but four of us came to work since you’re taking care of Shuhua,” with her free arm, Minnie pulled Soyeon towards her and into an embrace. “Shuhua? Clap or make some noise if you’re able to hear me. I know that talking is out of the question for you at this point.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A small thud against the wall.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Before we debuted as who we are now, we were just six strangers. A former trainee, a shy dancer, a survival show monster, and three foreigners. We didn’t think we’d make it this far as Yeoja Aideul, and look at us now. We’re one of the most watched groups in our generation, we… we’ve broken records, we’ve won awards. We have our lives ahead of us, but… that’s the statistics. People still don’t know that Yeoja Aideul isn’t just… some group. We’re a family of six strong, individual personalities,” Soyeon looks up to make eye contact with Miyeon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi swallowed her tears, and nodded. “We’re a family from all over Asia. We share this unbreakable bond that goes past… well, everything. We endured a lot of hardships as trainees to make it to Latata. Look at us now! We’re… we’re so far ahead of where we used to be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Miyeon gently pulled on the bottom of her shirt. She needed something to fiddle around with. “I’m Aideul’s innocence, Miyeon.”<br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m Aideul’s dreamy voice, Minnie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin looked down at the pained Shuhua, and felt her lip quiver as she spoke. “I’m Aideul’s it girl, Soojin.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Aideul’s charismatic leader, Soyeon.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m Aideul’s cutie, Yuqi.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Through strain and struggle, Shuhua forced her voice to come out through the roots and the branches digging into her lungs and throat. It was painful, and one could hear how horrible it was affecting her. But she persisted, and stared at Soojin with a small smile. “I’m Aideul’s visual maknae, Shuhua.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Soyeon,” Soojin eased Shuhua back to laying down, staring at her phone in the process. “What are you trying to get at with this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, Soojin… we don’t know the fate of the group. We can’t be Yeoja Aideul without Shuhua. We’re not our group without her. It’s a decision we have no time to make, and I wish we had years upon years… but we only have days, maybe less… left. There’s two options we have here, and I need you all to listen to me closely.” Soyeon felt as if her heart was bound to beat out of her chest. “We can continue as Yeoja Aideul, and do everything we can in Shuhua’s honor… or we disband. We go our separate ways and follow our careers.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua shook her head. She didn’t want to see her family fall apart without her there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua shook her head. There’s your first vote, and… I have to side with her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yuqi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m staying. It might hurt, but… even if she’s gone, we will always be a family.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Minnie.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m staying for Shuhua.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Miyeon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m staying too. I want to make Shuhua’s name a name people will remember. Soojin might be the it girl, but our maknae has a charm to her that deserves to be in history.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soyeon made eye contact with the other three in the room with her. Feeling herself tear up, she just nodded. No other answer. They all wanted to remain one unit. They valued their bond and their maknae more than anything else that she could have imagined. With a few tears falling down, she smiles a little. “One… two…” Even with Soojin and Shuhua over the phone, they still all spoke at the same time. Just as if they were live, and in front of an audience.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Six voices, all unified in one harmony.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, we’re (G)I-DLE.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Tung-Tung</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The clock finally strikes zero as the maknae takes her last breath.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the original ending~</p><p>Shuhua's section is in first person on purpose. I felt like it would help the narrative close out pretty well.<br/>(That, and you goofs on Twitter wanted to suffer.)</p><p>Final chapter of this is the alternate ending. I cannot thank you guys enough for the positive feedback and everything. It really was my drive to continue after the first chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> In endless dreams... </em> </p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>[Cho Miyeon]</p><p> </p><p>The glass shattering cry from Soojin wakes her up on a fated Wednesday afternoon. Normally, she’d be irritated, but the pained cry made her body fill with worry instead. It was the fastest she had ever gotten up. Her hands didn’t hesitate to grab her phone and text Soyeon either. </p><p>
  <em> [To Soyeon: How fast can you get to the dorms again? Soojin just let out a blood-curdling cry, and I don’t know what happened. I’ll see you when you get here.] </em>
</p><p>The phone flew towards the couch as Miyeon slid a pair of slippers on and ran for the door. The door flew open and slammed shut, as if the wind had come and gusted like a hurricane’s violent temper. </p><p> </p><p>To hear Soojin under such distress was unusual.</p><p>To hear Soojin crying was alarming, since she laughed in the face of an issue normally.</p><p>But to hear Soojin’s cry like she lost someone dear to her? It began to make the hairs on Miyeon’s arms and the back of her neck stand up. </p><p> </p><p>The shuffling in the hallway got louder as Miyeon put more force and momentum in her running. As the crying got louder, her eyes began to widen. It couldn’t be, right? This couldn’t be the way their maknae went out. She tried convincing herself that Soojin had a rough nightmare or something, and that maybe she was waking up. She did not want to face a dead body. In reality, she didn’t know how she would react. Dealing with a struggling Shuhua was something she felt as if she failed herself with. But death?</p><p> </p><p>Miyeon hated death. </p><p> </p><p>She came to a stop as the saw light coming into the hallway. The door was open. Stepping inside, she moved towards the sounds of Soojin’s cries, to open the door to Shuhua’s room. She finds Soojin with her head resting on the maknae’s stomach, her hand tightly gripping Shuhua’s. Miyeon looked over Shuhua, and saw how eerily still she was. Approaching Soojin carefully, Miyeon put her hands barely centimeters from Shuhua’s lips and nose, since she was able to reach. When Miyeon didn’t feel anything, her hand went to the maknae’s neck. Two fingers over one of the arteries. Not a single beat. </p><p> </p><p>There was no beat, no melody. </p><p> </p><p>Backing up, Miyeon felt her eyes begin to water up. She felt the incoming storm of tears that was about to leave her body. With shaky hands, she pulls Soojin up, and looks at the devastated girl in front of her. “Soojin… when did she die?”</p><p> </p><p>No words from Soojin. Just a painful gasp for air and the continuation of desperate cries. Soojin pulled Miyeon into an extremely tight hug, burying her face into the eldest one’s shoulder. Miyeon held onto her, her eyes fixed on Shuhua’s still body. One of her hands tangles itself in Soojin’s hair, with her said hand gently massaging the back of Soojin’s head. “Soojin… when did she die?”</p><p> </p><p>Trying to muster up an answer was not easy. But, a cracked and raspy voice answered.</p><p>“...Five minutes ago.”</p><p> </p><p>Gently pushing Soojin off of her, Miyeon nodded and took a look at the crying girl’s face. Just a little bit of blood dripping from her lips. She didn’t want to even think that Shuhua’s last breath was a kiss. And if it was, she just hoped it wasn’t in vain and that there was some closure to come from it. Somehow keeping her composure while Soojin broke down in front of her, Miyeon got her phone out to call the one person she knew would get there in less than a few minutes.</p><p> </p><p>Soyeon.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m on my way. What’s going on, Miyeon? How urgent is it?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Soyeon… she’s dead. Shuhua’s gone.”</p><p> </p><p>The silence on Soyeon’s end was unnerving. An audible gulp came by half a minute later.</p><p>
  <em> “Is that Soojin that’s crying?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You know it so.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m on my way. I… I’ll be there as soon as I can.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Miyeon couldn’t help but stare at Shuhua. The poor girl had a white rose beginning to protrude from her parted lips. How the once lively maknae was now as still as a porcelain doll broke her heart. As Soojin looked up for some sort of validation that this was a nightmare, Miyeon felt her eyes water up and a few tears fall down her cheeks. She could only silently shake her head at the younger Korean girl. Stepping back towards the wall, Miyeon found herself sliding down onto the floor, burying her face in her arms as her hands grabbed the front part of her hair. All she had left were the memories she wishes she’ll forever cherish. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [October 31st, 2019 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The small cries caught Miyeon’s attention as she saw Soojin rush by her almost immediately. They seemed to have only grown sadder when a sad “Unnie!” left Shuhua’s broken-sounding voice. As Soojin had pulled her into a hug, Miyeon pushed past the other girls and sat down next to Shuhua. The poor girl was in tears. Putting an arm around her like Soojin was, she spoke up. “Shuhua? Love, what’s wrong?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “She thinks she did horribly, Miyeon,” Soojin answers, knowing Shuhua would continue to sob if she answered.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> There was a pause before Miyeon furrowed her eyebrows. “Who told you that, Shu? You did amazing! We’re extremely proud of you. All of us are. Not just us, but I know our Neverlands are proud of you too. You brought that intro to life. You… you were the queen, the lion. I’m sure I could ask everyone in here right now and they would agree with me.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Seeing the maknae look up with her tear-filled eyes, the eldest eased up her expression and let a soft smile come across her lips. The gentle look eased up Shuhua’s sadness a little, and she went from fully hugging Soojin to fully hugging Miyeon. The arm that was around her followed, and Miyeon used her free hand to motion the others over. They were quick to come too. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yah! Quit the tears. You made us proud.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “We were standing back there watching you do the intro. You did amazing, Shuhua.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “It’s okay to mess up. I messed up the lyrics too. Really, don’t worry about it, you did great.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And to come in third? It was a wild dream beyond any reach, but they did it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Be proud of yourself, okay?” Miyeon gently rubbed Shuhua’s back. “You were honestly one of our strongest points in all of our performances. And you’ll only get better from here.”] </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Countless realms collide. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>[Nicha ‘Minnie’ Yontararak]</p><p> </p><p>Minnie was only walking up a flight of stairs when the cry rang out as she opened the door. Her eyes caught Miyeon essentially sprinting down the hall to the dorm belonging to Soojin and Shuhua. She paused for a moment to text Yuqi, who was still a few minutes away due to going to grab a few things. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [To: Song Song] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Get back to the dorms as soon as possible. I just saw Miyeon make a madman’s dash to Soojin and Shuhua’s. Hurry. Please. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Minnie set her stuff down by the door to the dorm she shared with Yuqi before running down the hall to the open doorway. She froze and backed up to the wall outside upon hearing words she wished she didn’t:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Soojin… when did she die?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “...Five minutes ago.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The Thai slumps over, hands going through her hair with her eyes staring down at her lap. Her maknae was gone, and she didn’t say goodbye. She told the poor girl they would go out and get food together that day. Her mind stopped any and all thoughts it was having. For once, Minnie was at a loss for words. Blank. She didn’t know what to do, or think. She felt her chest tighten up as she forced herself to look up through the open door. Her eyes went to the coffee table in view, and to a picture of all six of them. </p><p> </p><p>Minnie knew she couldn’t sit there forever. She forced herself to stand up, and took extremely slow steps towards the sound of the crying, before going over to pull Soojin into a hug when she was in sight. Soojin more or less attacked her with a hug, and forced Minnie to stumble back. Back to slumping over it was, and Soojin went down with her. The white rose had Minnie’s eyes watering up and wide. How such a beauty came out from death was an oxymoronic thing to witness. Holding onto Soojin, Minnie forced herself to take a deep breath in. </p><p> </p><p>“Soojin… what was she like this morning?”</p><p> </p><p>“I… She was smiling, Minnie-unnie…” Soojin rarely used ‘unnie’, much like Shuhua did with Yuqi. Sure, it was more frequent, but… still something that hurt to hear. “She knew she was going to die. She… she accepted it and… she looked happy. She smiled at the very end, unnie–”</p><p> </p><p>“Calm down, Soojin…” Minnie’s eyes didn’t leave the rose. It was a hauntingly gorgeous sight. As Soojin’s smaller frame shook with every single sob, Minnie tightened her embrace. Her eyes went from the rose to the body next to her. Miyeon looked over with such a pained look. The two eldest nodded, as Miyeon moved over to hug both Minnie and Soojin. </p><p> </p><p>“And we didn’t know that last night… would’ve been our last laugh together,” Minnie’s voice was quieter than usual. She was normally outspoken and very loud, but… the volume seemed inappropriate at this instance. She didn’t even know if she could be loud anymore. Her heart broke at the thought of having to tell Shuhua’s family, especially her sister. She also knew that finding a way to tell their Neverland was going to kill them. “But… even though it’s the last? It was a good night. She did spend her last night… happy. Smiling. She… spent it with her family away from home. In a way, there was closure for us…”</p><p> </p><p>A soft nod nudged her shoulder. Probably Miyeon, since she felt Soojin shaking and burying herself as close to her collarbone as possible.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, nórng sǎao.”</p><p> </p><p>Though she knew it was through no fault of her own, Minnie felt absolutely crushed by this. She felt the guilt of it all, as if it were her fault. The faint smell of blood was picked up by her nose. It was an all too vivid flashback to when Shuhua had first fainted in front of them in their practice room. It was playing out in front of her eyes like a movie.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [July 3rd, 2020 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Is she going to be okay, unnie?” Yuqi’s eyes looked up at Minnie with the pained look of a sad puppy. All Minnie could do was hope her words were true, and not some sort of lie. She couldn’t stand lying, and much less to the people she considered family. Being the one to carry Shuhua’s upper torso, she made eye contact with Yuqi as they set the girl down on her bed.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Want me to be honest? I hope so, Yu. I hope so.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Minnie’s eyes scanned over the unconscious Shuhua. “I don’t think this is new. Something tells me that she’s been struggling with whatever this is for a while now... and that we might be too late. You said it was called Hanahaki Disease earlier, right?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yeah.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I think she might have the worst of it then. What flowers are the bad ones to have?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Well,” Yuqi tapped her chin, “any of them is bad. But roses are the worst. Because they have thorns, the thorns dig into the lungs and the other organs. They wrap around the person’s body like a snake. Makes it all more painful.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Opening the maknae’s mouth, Minnie reached her index and middle fingers in it to pull out another blood-covered white petal. Bringing it up to the light, her eyes focused on the smaller details. Smooth, a little folded on the top. The petal falls from her fingers as she looks down at Yuqi with a horrified face. “That’s a rose petal, Yu. She’s… growing roses.”] </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Minnie allowed herself to take a deep breath. The slow but gentle motion of her chest rising and falling seemed to have comforted Soojin a little, since the mess of a girl looked up. “Unnie…”</p><p> </p><p>“Shhh. I know, Soo… I know,” the Thai keeps her arms around her. Minnie was losing it on the inside though. Much like Miyeon, the tears began to flow silently. Her heart felt heavy, especially with the words she told Shuhua last night. How she promised they would go get some lunch together as a family, and then go out and have fun for the rest of the day. Why did she make that promise? The guilt began to set in like a weight crushing her from above. She tilted her head back, letting it make contact with the wall as she tightened her arms around Soojin. </p><p> </p><p>The tears were not going to stop. She knew they would never. </p><p> </p><p>Miyeon and Soojin both looked at her when they heard Minnie start muttering one sentence in Thai.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Shuhua.”</p><p> </p><p>Through the tears and the heartbreak, her body began to tense up. The quiet murmurs in her mother language were the only thing filling the room. The air ended up becoming still again, but was soon filled with the quiet whimpers and hitched breaths from Minnie. She wanted to scream into the skies and beg for her to be the one to have been taken instead. Fate was a cruel thing to the kindest people. As she began to slump a little, her hands tightly held onto Soojin’s hoodie. </p><p> </p><p>Soojin snugly cozied up to Minnie, trying to give her the very much needed hug that they both did want and need. Miyeon stood up, and very quietly spoke through her own tears.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to the door for Soyeon.”</p><p> </p><p>All Minnie could muster up was a weak-sounding “Okay.” before falling victim to her tears again. With her eyes tightly shut, she took herself back to the memories she would think about at night.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [March 21st, 2020 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I know it’s individual cuts for you both today, but… here,” Minnie smiled as she opened the door to the dressing room, holding a bag of food in one hand, and a tray with two cups of coffee in the other. Shuhua’s head perked up as she saw Minnie walk through the door. Setting the food and drinks down on an empty table, the Thai smiled as she looked between Miyeon and Shuhua. “Shu, you look so pretty.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I know. I’m an angel~” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, but you’re actually a little devil disguised as an angel,” Miyeon looks at the two of them through the mirror with a smile on her face.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yah! Miyeon-unnie! Wait, Minnie-unnie… why are you here?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I figured I would bring you both something to eat since it’s a long day. Trust me, I would know… I was here until 4 am the other night. And I have to come back tonight to finish my individual cuts,” Minnie stretches her arms over her head with a yawn. “If you two manage to get everything done with daylight, I’ll be jealous.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The manager poked their head through the door. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shuhua, your turn to shoot. Please follow me.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Very carefully adjusting the long dress, Shuhua’s bright smile was the last thing Minnie saw before she was left with Miyeon. That however, gave the eldest two an idea. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Let’s go monitor Shuhua.” </em>
</p><p><em><br/></em> <em> “I like the sound of that,” Miyeon gets up, stretches, and follows Minnie out of the dressing room. By the time the two had gotten to the set, Shuhua was up on her pedestal. The long dress, the lighting? Everything made her look more like a goddess than an actual angel. And the wind caught Minnie by surprise.  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “She looks amazing…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “That’s our maknae, Miyeon,” the smile on the Thai’s face was unrivaled. “I can’t wait for people to see this scene. It’s so… surreal. Ethereal. I think this is Shuhua’s time to shine.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “She was always a shining star, Min. Now the world gets to witness her glory.”] </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hope falls only to rise like the changing tide. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> –––––––––– </em>
</p><p> </p><p>[Jeon Soyeon]</p><p> </p><p>Upon hanging up with Miyeon, Soyeon was quick to pick her pace up. The leader was in a frantic rush, pushing past people in an effort to get back to the building. Several people yelled at her for the recklessness, but she gave them no attention. As soon as she reached the door, her mind was set on getting up the stairs as fast as possible. No time for an elevator. Soyeon’s breaths began to echo in the stairwell along the thudding of her feet. The door to the floor flies open as she sprints down the hall, throwing whatever bags on her on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>Miyeon grabs her by the shoulders to bring her to a screeching halt. The silence is filled with Minnie’s crying not that long after. Pulling Soyeon into a side hug, the two walked forward and into the room. The sound of the crying got louder, and it was mixed with the one sentence being muttered in Thai.</p><p> </p><p>Soyeon’s face lost all color. Her jaw hung slightly open as she stared at the rose and at Shuhua.</p><p> </p><p>“No… Miyeon, please tell me she’s just sleeping–” Soyeon’s breath hitched right as she was going to continue talking. The thought of someone she dearly called a sister being dead was too much to bear. And Soyeon had a blood sister– much like Shuhua– that she cherished and loved to the end of the world. Seeing the cadaver on the bed was enough to make her whole body shake and her legs feel weak. As she fell down to her knees, her chest began to tighten up. “Miyeon–”</p><p> </p><p>Miyeon kneels down, and pulls Soyeon into a tight hug. The eldest of the two Yeons let out a shaky response.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Soyeon.”</p><p> </p><p>Soyeon was terrible with grief. It was a thing she never fully understood. Her mind was reeling, however, and she could not shake off the lingering feeling that someone was watching. Maybe it was her intuition, but she had a decent feeling that even in death, Shuhua was still there with them. At least she hoped that the spirit would be there. Tightly gripping onto the back of Miyeon’s shirt after being pulled into a hug, Soyeon buries her face into the eldest’s shoulder. The tears that were being held back began to fall.</p><p> </p><p>She would be the first to admit it. She wasn’t the best leader. She still had things she had to work on. </p><p> </p><p>One thing however, she knew she had tried to be the best at, was keeping her group members together through tough times. Getting them through emotionally draining challenges. If you asked Soyeon what her best attribute was as a leader, she would say her willingness to be there for her members at any time of day. When Yuqi was struggling with her family, Soyeon made sure to be there. When Soojin felt uncomfortable, Soyeon made sure to provide a sense of home.</p><p> </p><p>With Shuhua?</p><p> </p><p>She did everything possible. This went from being there on the stairwell to their Queendom finals. For their maknae, she would be willing to lay her life down. Something was special about Shuhua, and Soyeon wanted to make sure she protected that at all costs. But with this? She wasn’t able to protect Shuhua. She remembers the day she found the young Taiwanese teenager [at the time], crying her eyes out in the stairwell. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [September 14th, 2017 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Another late night, another irritating walk to their dorms. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Soyeon was miffed. Not that she had issues with her members, though staying so late to learn something began to get old. She didn’t mind it, but at the same time, it was beginning to absolutely bother her to no end. With a disgruntled groan, the now leader of a group of six opened up the door to the stairwell to make her descent. However, what caught her attention was the lack of silence at the late hour that it was. She heard someone crying a floor or two below, and it sounded very pained. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Almost as if that person was ready to give up. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Slowly, but surely, Soyeon made her way down those stairs to find the epicenter of the cries. And much to her surprise, it was actually one of her own members. The youngest one, a teenage girl from Taiwan. The annoyed mood was replaced by a sudden wave of worry and concern for the girl on the steps. Quickening her pace, Soyeon made herself sit down next to Shuhua. She knew that it would be a little rough since Shuhua still mostly spoke Mandarin, but it was worth a shot.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Shuhua? What’s wrong?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> With a sniffle, the Taiwanese girl looked up. Her face was reddening up, her eyes were puffy… everything about her made her look like a sad puppy. “Soyeon–” It was choked, almost as if Shuhua didn’t want to be found. (Spoiler Alert: She did not want to be found). Bringing her hands up, she uses her sleeves to wipe the tears away as the Korean furrows her eyebrows. “I’m fine. It’s just… a stupid thought. That’s all it is. It’s late, anyways… go home.” Maybe if she dismissed how she felt, she wouldn’t burden Soyeon. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> That was not the case. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Soyeon was quite stubborn, and when it came to her members? She was going to be more stubborn than a mule.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Shuhua, seriously… what’s wrong? Was I too harsh earlier? Did something happen at home? I look mean, I sound mean… I know. I’m what they call the survival show monster. But I do care. You’re one of my members. We’re going to be a family away from Taiwan for you, and I want you to be as comfortable as possible. So really, even if I look irritated, don’t be afraid to vent.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Another sniffle from Shuhua. She just looked at Soyeon with hurt eyes. “I don’t think I belong here, Soyeon. The rest of you are all so… talented. You can all dance and sing… and… I struggle. I just struggle. I stay so many late nights trying to make sure I do everything right. My Korean isn’t even that good. I just don’t know if I should be here anymore. I want to go home, Soyeon. I want to go back to Taiwan. Maybe in the world of acting is where I need to be, not in the world of idols…” The then teenaged Shuhua stuck her hands in her pockets and looked away, her hair becoming a curtain. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Soyeon shook her head, pulling the girl into a tight hug. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re doing amazing, Shuhua. Listen to me, okay?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> A nod. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I know it’s been difficult. Yuqi’s been telling me how hard you’re working to learn Korean just so you can debut. It means the world to me that you’re very hardworking. And the fact you’re still here, and practicing? It shows determination and character. When I was on PD 101 and Unpretty Rapstar, I had my nights where I didn’t want to continue. So I stayed up and kept writing. I wanted to succeed. Hard work and determination is what this industry needs. You are the very embodiment of that.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No one’s going to–” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yuqi believes in you and I believe in you. I’m sure that Miyeon, Minnie, and Soojin will warm up eventually. Okay?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yeah… okay.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Come on, Shu. Let’s go back to the dorms. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”] </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Gently pushing Miyeon away, Soyeon forced herself to stand up, She left the room, and went to find the bathroom. There was a gentle click from her locking the door. Her puffy eyes stared into the mirror, as she saw the tears flow with no end in sight. But right behind her, according to the mirror’s reflection, was a faint sort of spirit. Probably a hallucination on Soyeon’s end, and it was for the most part. </p><p><br/>Until the mirror’s reflection became Shuhua’s face. Smile and all. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Soyeonnie? Soyeonnie! Don’t cry. Really, it’s okay. I know this sucks a whole lot but… I’m always around. If you think about it… I can kinda be your guardian angel now! For all of you!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Shuhua.” Soyeon’s voice trembled. “Shuhua… why did this happen?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Remember the intro for Latata we did for Queendom? The one where Minnie-unnie spoke in Thai?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I do.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “It’s dangerous, but if you get drunk in love, you’ll never be able to escape.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“What does this have to do with anything, Shu?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I fell in love with Soojin. And I fell too hard, to the point it became my demise. Because my love was very one-sided… it began to hurt me. I was the one who got drunk in love and paid the price. But… part of me thinks Soojin did love me back. Maybe she didn’t know how to express it, but… if she did love me? I feel so sorry for her. But… in that life, I’m glad I had a wonderful support system. And you were the start of it, Soyeonnie. Thank you. I need to go. Watch over them for me, okay? I’ll be back soon!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And just as Soyeon reached her hand for the mirror, only her reflection was there. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [August 3rd, 2020 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “YEH SHUHUA! GET OVER HERE!” Yuqi’s voice filled the hallway. Seems the youngest girls were running around and having fun. A laugh was the only thing to come from Shuhua as she ran past the open door to Miyeon and Soyeon’s dorm. Soyeon looked up from her notebook with a grin, rolling her eyes. The energy from those two was contagious to a degree, because it got Soyeon to stand up and peek into the hallway to see what was going on. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Soyeonnie! Let me iiiiiiin!” The Taiwanese girl gently moved the Korean out of the door frame’s way, before using her as a shield. “Thank you!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “What are you two up to?” Soyeon watched as Yuqi came to a total halt in front of her. “You look like you just ran a marathon.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “She promised she was going to sit down with me to watch something later! Yah!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Hey, hey! How about we do this? We watch it together. Is that better?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The two on either side of Soyeon looked at each other and nodded. Soyeon backed up right past Shuhua and went to sit down. She was always busy writing, one couldn’t blame her. She worked for herself, and for her members. “What were you two planning to watch anyways?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Some horror movies Minnie recommended.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Soyeon’s face drops. She just stares at Shuhua and Yuqi with a pale face, and a deadpan expression. There was a rapid shaking of the head. “No. No no no no. I don’t do horror movies!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Too late, Soyeonnie! You committed already!”] </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The door to the bathroom opens up, but Soyeon ends up just sitting in that very spot. Her body gently falls back, and her eyes fix themselves on the ceiling. She was going to miss laughing with someone so dear to her. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Where all dreams come to an end.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> –––––––––– </em>
</p><p> </p><p>[Song Yuqi]</p><p> </p><p>When Minnie told her to run back to the dorms, Yuqi dropped everything she was doing to listen.</p><p> </p><p>But getting there? The silence was almost deafening. The hallway wasn’t full of life. She didn’t… miss anything, did she? Her eyebrows furrow as she notices the lights from Soojin and Shuhua’s dorm. And then from the others. The rest of the doors were open, and Minnie’s stuff was thrown into the doorway. Taking her bag off of her back, Yuqi gently sets it down and starts walking down the quiet hallway. When her ears caught the murmuring in Thai, and the soft cries from Soyeon, she bolted inside and came to a complete halt. </p><p> </p><p>Her hands come up to cover her mouth, with her backing up into the doorway with the tears not hesitating to fall. Stumbling back, the other half of the Chinese Line just falls against the frame. It was quite evident that she was immediately torn by what happened. And though she was not one to show how she felt often, both anger and grief were her two emotions at the moment. A pained cry of Shuhua’s name left her body, making her voice crack. One of the first people she became friends with in Korea was gone. </p><p> </p><p>The sudden cry made Miyeon, Minnie, and Soojin look up. It got Soyeon to come back into the room to sit next to her and hug her. </p><p> </p><p>Feeling Soojin’s eyes on her, the anger in Yuqi began to boil. “This is all your fault. She’s dead because of you, Soojin!” Most of her was thankful Soyeon was holding her back with a hug. “You and your stupid charm! Your personality! Every single fucking thing! She loved it all about you and you were so blind and ignorant to it she died!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yuqi, stop–” Soyeon tightens her embrace.</p><p> </p><p>“You were her first friend! The first person she trusted!”</p><p> </p><p>Soojin’s body began to tense up and Yuqi kept on yelling at her. The fact that she was clearly upset about Shuhua dying was visible, but this was coming to the forefront too.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know how many nights I had to hold her? How many nights she spent upset that you’d never love her back?” It was more anger than grief. Yuqi stopped speaking Korean all together and started in Mandarin. Her head was too muddied to think properly. “I HATE SEEING PEOPLE I CONSIDER FAMILY UPSET. DO YOU KNOW HOW BADLY IT HURT TO SEE HER LIKE THAT? ALL SHE EVER DID WAS LOVE YOU!”</p><p> </p><p>“Enough!” Minnie responded in Mandarin to the angered Chinese girl, furrowing her eyebrows. “I know you’re upset. I know you’re the angriest out of all of us, but seriously? That’s too far, Yu! Even for you, that’s way too damn far. Calm down.”</p><p> </p><p>Minnie had a point. She did go too far.</p><p> </p><p>“Soojin,” Yuqi’s voice lowered in volume drastically. She also decided to speak in Korean so she could be understood. “ I… I’m really upset about this. I had to spend nights comforting her when she was crying. All she ever really wanted was to love you. She just wanted that love back. She fell hard for you, and I don’t blame her. Past the bashfulness, you’re honestly a sweetheart. But she could only take so much of the whiplash from being cold and loving at the same time. You confused her a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yuqi, I…”</p><p> </p><p>“I remember the last thing she said to me before we went out to eat together last night. She told me that she just hoped you would find a way to love her after she’s gone. Maybe then that’ll put her at ease. She was so willing and accepting of her fate. She knew the end was coming, and her last thought was still about you. It takes a lot to love someone the way she loved you. Shuhua… fell too hard. She got too drunk in love.”</p><p> </p><p>“I did love her, Yuqi,” Soojin’s eyes finally meet Yuqi’s dark, and quite dead-seeming gaze. “I did love her. Every single bit of her, too. From her smile to the cute way she scrunches her nose up when she thinks. I know it’s my fault she’s gone, really. I… didn’t admit how I felt sooner, because I didn’t know how to tell her. Anyone in this room can tell you, I want my words to have meaning behind them. Just words isn’t enough. An action is all it takes for me to prove myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Yuqi honestly looked like someone had drained the life out of her.</p><p>“So you stayed silent. And all due to what… confusion?”</p><p> </p><p>A nod from Soojin.</p><p> </p><p>Yuqi gets Soyeon off of her, and stands up, reaching her hand out to Soojin. And once Soojin took her hand, Yuqi pulled her up and into the tightest hug ever. “I really am sorry for yelling at you, Soojin-unnie. I miss her as much as anyone else here does. She was like my little sister. I would’ve loved for her to be able to keep on going with us. But seeing her so… at peace despite the circumstances made me… uncomfortable, in a way. It bothers me that she was so ready to accept her fate without attempting to change it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shu was always stubborn, Yuqi,” Soojin gently ran a hand through the younger girl’s hair. “Changing fate was never really her strong suit. I know that seeing her suffer took a toll on you, and that… this is a nightmare. I know, it hurts…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [January 11th, 2020 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yah! Yeh Shuhua!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Hm?” The Taiwanese girl looked up to her Chinese counterpart with a blank expression. “Did I do something?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No,” Yuqi takes a seat next to Shuhua, pulling her into a side hug. “I just wanted to sit down with you. I miss talking to you. We’re always around people, and you kept asking if we could have a night just for us two. Now that we have the time between schedules, I figured it would be appropriate. So, what do you say?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Mmmm… okay.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Just okay?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m kidding, Yu! Of course I’d love to spend time with you. But on the condition we can go buy food. I’m actually kinda hungry and Soojin-unnie’s doing something today. Oh! Oh oh oh I have an idea! We should make something here! I think we still have left over ingredients from the stir fry… so… we can make that together. Come on,” Shuhua stood up, pulling Yuqi up with her and bringing the other girl towards the kitchen. “If I remember correctly… Soojin keeps everything… over there…” Her free hand points towards one of the cabinets.] </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I… I shouldn’t have said it was your fault, Soojin,” Yuqi backs away from the hug. The light in her eyes is completely gone. She looked like someone who had no one in her family left. “It’s the stupid disease’s fault, not yours. I shouldn’t have shifted the blame like that onto you. I just… got angry, and–”</p><p> </p><p>“It was a moment of shock,”a sniffle from Soojin. “I know. You’re one of the sweetest people alive, Yuqi. I know it was out of shock. No one ever acts like themselves in shock,” her lips quivered, trying to give Yuqi a smile before her face fell back into its sad look. Soojin looked like a hurt puppy. Yuqi watched her face carefully fall. Even she had to admit that Soojin was the one who took it the hardest. To love someone and to lose them was like a tragic end to a drama.</p><p> </p><p>In a way, this all felt like a drama to Yuqi. </p><p> </p><p>But at the same time, it was all too real of a reminder that life truly was precious. And that cherishing every moment is what she needed to do. Looking up at the ceiling, she sighed. Her gaze travels to Shuhua’s body moments later, with a sweet little goodbye in Mandarin:</p><p> </p><p>“I hope that heaven really is a thing, and that you’re watching us. Got it, Shuhua? We’re going to continue as a group for you. And everything we do will be dedicated to you. We’re six girls, united by music, with distinct personalities. We’re Yeoja Aideul. I hope I see you in my dreams, mèimei. I love you, and I miss you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Just whispers on the wind… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>[Seo Soojin]</p><p> </p><p>In the past months, when Shuhua’s condition had worsened, Soojin had stayed back to help take care of the young girl. </p><p> </p><p>She could count every time she witnessed Shuhua gasp for air and struggle to breathe from the thorns digging into her lungs. From the roots literally draining her of her life. It was a painful sight, one that the normally calm-mannered Korean could not keep her composure with. The struggle of hearing Shuhua’s voice weaken every morning made Soojin realize the clock really was about to strike zero. When the thought crept into her head, she pushed it out. A reality she didn’t want to face was going to hit her harder than anything ever could. </p><p> </p><p>By this point, Soojin figured out that it was her.</p><p> </p><p>She knew Shuhua was suffering from an unrequited love.</p><p> </p><p>But Soojin was not ready to admit her feelings. In fact, with everything going on, she didn’t know how to admit it. It was all a mess that haunted her nightly dreams and daily thoughts. A mess that she caused, and didn’t know how to fix. Unfortunately, people weren’t like statues, where you can glue them back together. Once a human breaks, they break for good. Knowing such a fact, the silence gripped at Soojin’s throat, being the very thing that hindered her from admitting her feelings. She knew a meaningful confession, maybe with something Shuhua loved– or something physical that meant a lot to Soojin– it would be resolved.</p><p> </p><p>Soojin owned a cherry necklace– one she had gotten while on a trip back home to Hwaseong. She meant to give it to Shuhua, since before the whole ordeal began, Shuhua had gotten her a little paw necklace with two paws. Though she never wore it, she had it on her nightstand next to a picture of the two of them. She never spoke much about it, but it meant the world to her to have it. </p><p> </p><p>And then came a Wednesday afternoon that Soojin was not ready to face.</p><p> </p><p>The amount of blood-covered petals and Shuhua’s drastically rising and falling chest broke her heart. Pulling her up into a seated position, Soojin holds onto Shuhua’s face with one hand, her lip quivering. The Taiwanese girl looked so frail and weak, yet she had a smile on her face. Just as her lips parted to talk, Shuhua interrupted her. “Jjin-ah… well… Soojin-unnie,” she begun. The wide eyes from Soojin were an indicator to Shuhua that she knew what was coming.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. For… everything. For taking care of me, for being there by my side. For being my first friend in Korea. You’ve done a lot for me and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best at saying thank you.” Even with how horribly everything hurt, Shuhua kept talking. Soojin watched as the girl powered through her last living moments with a smile on her face. “And thank you for letting me love you, even if you never loved me back. It was nice, knowing you did like the affection to a degree. I know I used to be… very overbearing, but… it felt right with you. All of the love and affection, I mean.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shuhua, I–”</p><p> </p><p>“Shhh. It’s okay, Soojin. I know where I’m going, I’ll be able to watch over you and the others. I’ll still be on stage with you. I’ll still be in this bedroom. As long as you believe, it’ll happen, right?”<br/><br/></p><p>“Shuhua, don’t talk like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have to, Soojin. My time’s up. It’s my time to head over to that big stage in the sky,” and she wasn’t wrong. Despite the blood trickling from the corner of her lip, Shuhua leaned forward and Soojin met her halfway. It was one of those painful goodbye kisses– the ones where neither of them want to let go or believe whatever was happening was reality. Just as Soojin pulled away, she saw Shuhua’s eyes begin to lose their life. With her last breath, the maknae smiled at the main dancer and said her final words.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Wǒ xǐ huān nǐ </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>A gentle thud against the bed. Soojin stared in horror at how the body was so peaceful and how the whole moment just played out in front of her. She knew what those four words meant in Mandarin; one of the few things Shuhua had taught her as a way to be affectionate was to say “I like you”, and those were her final words. Soojin’s eyes began to water up and the tears began to flow almost instantly. In the deafening silence, as she held Shuhua’s hand, she nodded to herself in an attempt to contain the cries she wanted to release. That was one of the ways Shuhua had said “I love you” to her without explicitly saying it.</p><p> </p><p>The silence is broken by a quiet and shaking voice.</p><p>“<em> Nado saranghae, Shuhua </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>More silence. It began to pound inside of Soojin’s head. She said she loved her too late. She was actually too late. Just as the minutes ticked by, she couldn’t handle the voices in her head yelling at her. And those voices were just her scolding herself for not saying anything sooner. The tears began to flow again, and from whatever depths of her lungs, a scream surfaces. A heartbreaking scream. A glass-shattering cry. It was pained, like she had just lost a family member. </p><p> </p><p>She lost more than a family member.</p><p>She lost the one person who was willing to unconditionally love her.</p><p> </p><p>That cry became a violent sob, and then more followed. Soojin had gotten off of the bed, holding Shuhua’s hand and begging that this was all just a cruel prank. But the longer she held the dead Taiwanese girl’s hand, the more she realized it was reality that she witnessed Shuhua’s last breath. The shuffling down the hallway was drowned out by her crying, and she wasn’t aware Miyeon had even walked in until it was made obvious.</p><p> </p><p>She knew someone was going to blame her.</p><p>(As if she didn’t already blame herself.)</p><p> </p><p>So when Yuqi’s grief and shock became a sudden fit of anger, her body tensed up and her mind froze up. She felt like a little girl, lost and alone. She felt as if no one was on her side. Seeing her Chinese counterpart so angered was also a scary sight, considering Yuqi almost never got angry. But when she was pulled into a hug, Soojin wanted to break down in her arms. She broke down in Minnie’s embrace, and she knew she would regret it later on.</p><p> </p><p>“I really am sorry for yelling at you, Soojin-unnie. I miss her as much as anyone else here does. She was like my little sister. I would’ve loved for her to be able to keep on going with us. But seeing her so… at peace despite the circumstances made me… uncomfortable, in a way. It bothers me that she was so ready to accept her fate without attempting to change it,” Yuqi’s deep and husky voice had lost its light. It was just dark, and sounded as if someone had mortally wounded her.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I shouldn’t have said it was your fault, Soojin. It’s the stupid disease’s fault, not yours. I shouldn’t have shifted the blame like that onto you. I just… got angry, and–”</p><p> </p><p>“It was a moment of shock,” Soojin found herself answering. In shock, people weren’t themselves. She was no stranger to this feeling, but it became foreign when she needed to comprehend it the most. The other four had stayed in there for the remainder of the day, and made the painful phone calls and all. At night, the dorm was silent. No pop music. No laughter from the other room. Just bitter and cold silence filled the air. </p><p> </p><p>“I did love you, Shuhua,” the wide awake Soojin stared at her dark ceiling as she spoke to the silence. She knew there would be no answer. “I loved you with every fiber of my being. I’m so sorry I didn’t admit it earlier. I’m so sorry I let you down. That necklace… the cherry one… it was never for me. It was for you. I just didn’t know when to give it to you. Maybe if I had done it earlier… you would still be alive. They really miss you, you know? The rest of them. We’re posting our goodbyes to you once a statement’s released. I’m glad it’s not immediate. We need time to grieve.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Thank you for loving me, Jjin-ah.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Shushu?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I told you I’d always be around. I wish you all would smile, though… it’s making me sad seeing you all so sad.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You know... you died. We’re quite upset. We all miss you terribly. We wish you would’ve stayed alive. Hell, I wish I would’ve admitted my feelings sooner to you, too. Given you that necklace, and… live out the remainder of our lives. I should’ve–”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “It’s in the past, Jjin-ah. We can love each other in our next life, okay?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sitting up, Soojin’s body turns to her left, seeing a faint figure in front of her. That smile… she knew it when she saw it. “Shuhua–”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m always here, Jinjin. Come on, let’s go sleep.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Shu–” Soojin’s eyes began to grow heavy. “–hua…” The Korean girl reached her hand out to the side, feeling a cold hand grab it. Last thing she’ll remember for that night is falling asleep to her own thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>––––––––––</p><p> </p><p>[Yeh Shuhua]</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If I was being honest with you, I knew from the first day I met Soojin that I would die. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I always knew, but it was the excitement of being loved, the happiness of loving… just being around such a wonderful person, that kept me going. Every little thing about her was interesting, from how she grew up to what she did in her childhood. I was always curious as to what made her choose this life as an idol. I only did this because my friends came with me, and… I succeeded. I started taking it seriously once they told me I had to move to Korea from Taiwan.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Being a trainee was rough, especially when no one spoke Mandarin. It was a slight culture shock because of the language, and there were many days I wanted to give up. After meeting Yuqi, and finding out she was from China, I felt a lot more comfortable. I felt a little more confident, too. I remember that Soojin and I had made eye contact one day, and I could not forget her face. I went up to Yuqi and told her that I wanted to be friends with that girl, but that I didn’t know enough Korean to actually talk. </em> <em><br/></em> <em><br/></em> <em> “Just go in there and try your best,” Yuqi gently gave me a pat on the back. “I’ll be down in the café if you need me, alright? See you soon.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Just like that, she was gone. I nervously opened the door up, and was quiet in my entrance. Soojin saw me through the mirror, and stopped, waving. This was after a while of me just sitting in there with her, watching her dance while I struggled to understand a new language. I mean, my Korean’s still poor at this stage, but it was enough to try and talk. “Hi.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I was wondering when you’d finally talk,” Soojin paused the music and came straight to me. “You don’t speak much Korean?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I shook my head. I did not.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “It’s okay. I was getting ready to leave this place anyways. Wanna go get a drink or a snack from the café? We can walk back to the dorms together.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I nodded. That was probably when we began to really be friends. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m Shuhua.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Soojin.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I was… definitely happy at that moment. And to think we’d be in the same group was just… amazing.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Debut night was beyond my wildest imagination. I pulled Soojin into a tight hug once we were backstage and allowed myself to cry. I was overjoyed that something that I had almost given up on succeeded. In a way, I was like Minnie at the moment. I was crying about finding success. Her arms wrapped around me and she looked down with a smile. “We did it. We’re officially Aideul’s Soojin and Shuhua.” Her voice was comforting at that moment. I buried my head into her shoulder and nodded.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I was finally able to call myself Aideul’s Visual Maknae, Shuhua.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I remember when I went to the doctor that morning towards the beginning of the year.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How he told me that if I was lucky, it would kill me slowly.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> These flowers hurt to have inside of my body, but it was a dark secret I had to keep to myself.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I knew Soyeon would begin to overwork herself. I knew Yuqi would start breaking down. I knew Minnie and Miyeon would keep their feelings between them. And Soojin? I didn’t want to tell her out of fear that she would think it was her fault. I could never do that. It wasn’t her fault to begin with. It was mine. After all, I am the one who fell in love with her. But who’s to say that Soojin didn’t love me back? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s a shame she does love me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s a pity she never got to admit it.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I never expected her to meet me halfway when I leaned in to kiss her goodbye. It was… a pleasant surprise. Though I’m gone now, it’s a memory I will always cherish of my Jinjin. It’s a real damned shame our first kiss was our last. My vision started blurring when she pulled away from it. Her face went pale when she realized I was one breath away from that clock striking zero. Even through the struggle to grasp for that last breath, I made sure to confess my love for her in the most meaningful way possible: </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> By doing it in Mandarin.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “ </em> <em> Wǒ xǐ huān nǐ. </em> <em> ” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We never really use the direct phrase “I love you” in Mandarin. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it doesn’t have much meaning behind it. We use our actions, or the way we nag someone, or phrases with similar meanings to express our love. Yuqi and I could easily tell you that just saying “I love you” as is in our language would get you a few looks, or laughed at by friends and family. I’m just glad I was at home and at peace when I said those four words to her.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> My lips formed a smile for a moment before the air completely escaped my lungs. My lips were parted, and my vision finally fell. Everything was pitch black.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry for not loving you enough, Miyeonnie. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry for being so annoying, Minnie-unnie. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry for being so weak, Soyeonnie. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry for not being a good sister, Yuqi-unnie. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry I never told you about this. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m so sorry I wasn’t open with you.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry I didn’t properly say goodbye, Soojin-unnie. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> But even in my death, promise me one thing: </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That you’ll always be Yeoja Aideul, even without me there.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’ll watch over you. I’ll be your guardian angel. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Goodbye, my friends. It was fun while I was alive. Thank you for making me better myself as a person.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Even in death, I’ll always be Yeoja Aideul’s Visual Maknae, Yeh Shuhua. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you can just call me Shuhua.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Luv U</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's always a silver lining.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The alternate ending. </p>
<p>I did my best to make this as happy as possible. I rewrote this four times and honestly, this was the only time I was satisfied with it.<br/>Yes, it starts with the angst of the original ending on purpose. <br/>Any italics are Shuhua narrating what's going on. I have grown really fond of doing that.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for reading this, and please look forward to more works in the future~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the past months, when Shuhua’s condition had worsened, Soojin had stayed back to help take care of the young girl. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She could count every time she witnessed Shuhua gasp for air and struggle to breathe from the thorns digging into her lungs. From the roots literally draining her of her life. It was a painful sight, one that the normally calm-mannered Korean could not keep her composure with. The struggle of hearing Shuhua’s voice weaken every morning made Soojin realize the clock really was about to strike zero. When the thought crept into her head, she pushed it out. A reality she didn’t want to face was going to hit her harder than anything ever could. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By this point, Soojin figured out that it was her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She knew Shuhua was suffering from an unrequited love.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Soojin was not ready to admit her feelings. In fact, with everything going on, she didn’t know how to admit it. It was all a mess that haunted her nightly dreams and daily thoughts. A mess that she caused, and didn’t know how to fix. Unfortunately, people weren’t like statues, where you can glue them back together. Once a human breaks, they break for good. Knowing such a fact, the silence gripped at Soojin’s throat, being the very thing that hindered her from admitting her feelings. She knew a meaningful confession, maybe with something Shuhua loved– or something physical that meant a lot to Soojin– it would be resolved.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin owned a cherry necklace– one she had gotten while on a trip back home to Hwaseong. She meant to give it to Shuhua, since before the whole ordeal began, Shuhua had gotten her a little paw necklace with two paws. Though she never wore it, she had it on her nightstand next to a picture of the two of them. She never spoke much about it, but it meant the world to her to have it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And then came a Wednesday morning that Soojin was not ready to face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The amount of blood-covered petals and Shuhua’s drastically rising and falling chest broke her heart. Pulling her up into a seated position, Soojin holds onto Shuhua’s face with one hand, her lip quivering. The Taiwanese girl looked so frail and weak, yet she had a smile on her face. Just as her lips parted to talk, Shuhua interrupted her. “Jjin-ah… well… Soojin-unnie,” she begun. The wide eyes from Soojin were an indicator to Shuhua that she knew what was coming.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you. For… everything. For taking care of me, for being there by my side. For being my first friend in Korea. You’ve done a lot for me and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best at saying thank you.” Even with how horribly everything hurt, Shuhua kept talking. Soojin watched as the girl powered through her last living moments with a smile on her face. “And thank you for letting me love you, even if you never loved me back. It was nice, knowing you did like the affection to a degree. I know I used to be… very overbearing, but… it felt right with you. All of the love and affection, I mean.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua, I–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shhh. It’s okay, Soojin. I know where I’m going, I’ll be able to watch over you and the others. I’ll still be on stage with you. I’ll still be in this bedroom. As long as you believe, it’ll happen, right?”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua, don’t talk like that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to, Soojin. My time’s up. It’s my time to head over to that big stage in the sky,” and she wasn’t wrong. Despite the blood trickling from the corner of her lip, Shuhua leaned forward and Soojin met her halfway. It was one of those painful goodbye kisses– the ones where neither of them want to let go or believe whatever was happening was reality.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Or rather, it seemed like one of those painful goodbye kisses.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The necklace mentioned earlier was in Soojin’s right hand, and it was in her fist. Leaving barely enough space for her to talk, Soojin’s dark eyes stared right into Shuhua’s. “No, Shuhua… no. Your time is not up. You’re still down here with us… with me. With me! I refuse to let go of you. I–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Soojin?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua, I know this is my fault. All of this pain, this… bloodshed. The torture you’ve had to endure for months is all me. Because I didn’t know how to open up. I’m working on it, I promise that to you. I don’t… look, I started panicking when all of this happened. I almost got into a physical fight with Miyeon over it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Soojin.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bringing her right hand up, Soojin dangles the necklace by their faces. “When I went back home to Hwaseong, I had on the puppy paw necklace you got for me. I got you a matching cherry necklace, and I’ve been meaning to give it to you for a while now. I just… never found the courage to. I’m a coward, I know. A total coward who can’t express her feelings, but I’ll be damned if I let you go. I… Shuhua, I can’t let you die. I know, me saying this now is going to get you killed and–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua pulls Soojin down onto her, holding her in a tight embrace with tears flowing from her eyes. “...All you had to say was I love you.” Her embrace loosens up, with her grinning a little. Shuhua sits up, and brings her arms up to hold her long hair above her neck. “Put it on me. Then we can finally match. That is what you want, yeah? I mean… I wouldn’t mind it. It’s actually really cute… and… I want to see you smile again. You haven’t smiled since that day.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a sniffle, Soojin’s lips began to quiver. She put her hands around Shuhua’s neck and fiddled with the small clasp for a moment, before letting go of the small chain and looking at the necklace with a very small smile. Tears began to stream down her face as the older of the two began to cry. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, and had known they would’ve spilled at some point. Falling onto the younger girl, the room was filled with shaky, yet quiet sobs. Soojin’s mind was reeling at the thought that she almost lost Shuhua.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe she wasn’t too late after all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe there was a hope for a future with them both.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So after all of this time, the maybes became always.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>September 26th</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>About two months passed by. Most of these mornings at the beginning consisted of Soojin taking care of Shuhua, until this very day. Shuhua was up on her own, quietly brushing her teeth and looking at herself in the mirror. It had been quite a while since she actually stepped outside, so today would be the day she’d make herself venture into Seoul. The rather unusual sound got the attention of a sleepy Soojin. Opening her door, she was rather surprised to see Shuhua up on her feet and looking rather content. “Good morning, Jinjin~”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, Shu. You’re… up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhmm! I’ve been feeling a lot better. And since there’s not very many petals and leaves left… I can finally breathe properly and all!” The bright smile from the maknae made the dancer’s lips pull themselves upward to also smile. “Jinjin, can we go out today? Or can we do something together? It’s been months… I miss going outside.” Shuhua’s hand reached for her brush, and she cocked her head to one side. Soojin just admired her for a moment, her eyes going from the excited look on Shuhua’s face to the cherry necklace. The sunlight from the living room and the light of the hallway made the gold outline glimmer just a little. In a way, it brought comfort to Soojin knowing she was able to give her the necklace. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her mind did not want to imagine a world without Shuhua.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She could remember the interview question she had been asked before, about not living with Shuhua or living with ten Shuhuas. Of course, for the camera, she put up the whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Ugh, seriously?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>facade, though one could see how bothered she was about being asked if she would prefer living without Shuhua. They always say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and one could see the pain of the thought living without the younger reflected. So she answered quite simply, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I’d rather live with ten Shuhuas.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin’s normally dark eyes look up from the necklace, to meet Shuhua’s bright gaze. She shakes her head, the smile not leaving her face. “I’ll happily go out anywhere with you, Shuhua. Where did you have in mind?” Seeing the younger’s face brighten up was something Soojin was going to hold on to dearly. She was never letting such a horrible pain affect Shuhua again. Not if she could help it. Something inside of her kept telling her that she needed to keep Shuhua safe, no matter the cost. It was something she was willing to do. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua’s bright expression was matched with an extremely overjoyed tone. “Can we please go get food? Can we get watermelon juice? Please, Jjin-ah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No schedules, no nothing to do? Then take the day off and relax.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Shushu? Why do you always get boba with Yuqi and Minnie-unnie?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Cause we can never decide what drinks we want to get so we normally compromise with boba at the end of a thirty minute debate,” Shuhua hums out, setting her brush down and stepping towards Soojin. She was taken aback when the older of the two pulled her into a tight hug, and soon kissed her forehead afterwards. “Jjin-ah? Are you okay?” Shuhua looks up, seeing the hurt hiding behind Soojin’s eyes. “I’m going to be okay, Soojin. I promise you that much. I outlived the expectations of any doctor when it was bad, and I can get over it. I have you, and you have me. Everything’s okay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In a way, this was sickeningly sweet for the other four to witness. The way Soojin clung onto Shuhua was a little worrisome, but no one complained about it. Shuhua was just happy to finally have the woman she always wanted, and Soojin was glad she made it right on time. Yuqi rolls her eyes as the two snuggle up against each other; oh how she hates to be next to the two lovebirds. (Note: She actually doesn’t hate it. She’s beyond happy to see that Shuhua’s no longer suffering). Minnie laughs at Yuqi’s reaction, with Miyeon and Soyeon grinning. “Welcome back, Sooshu.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome back? We never left,” Shuhua giggles.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, but you did,” Yuqi gently nudges her arm. “It was just Soojin and Shuhua. Truth be told, it was weird for the longest time. Also, everyone look up! Minnie’s taking a picture!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Smile!” The Thai chirps out, with the other five members laughing at how happy she sounded. The first night all six of them could go out together, after months of not being able to. “This is the first time in… how long has it been, Shuhua? Like… almost seven months?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, and… I’m glad I’m here. I can’t believe I beat the odds. The doctors were saying I was going to have a really painful death if I didn’t get those roses removed. But, I didn’t want to risk losing my love for not only Jinjin, but for you guys too. I thought really long and hard for a while about getting that surgery done, since I didn’t want to suffer anymore and just sit to the side while everyone did something.” Shuhua straightens herself up, picking up her pair of chopsticks and twirling them around her fingers. “I was tired of not posting much on social media. Of... not appearing in our I-Talks. I got tired of it, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can only imagine,” Soyeon nods.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“At one point, I did want to get that surgery done. If I got the roses removed, I would’ve been pain free, but lost an emotion in the balance of it all. Sure, it would’ve sucked, but the pain would’ve been so much less. I’m sorry for the burden it caused.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hush,” Miyeon holds a finger up. “You have nothing to apologize for. Emotions are what make you human, Shuhua. While you thought it was a burden, we took it as a cry for help. We did everything we could do to support you. And you better believe we’ll continue that, no matter what happens. We’re your sisters, so… don’t fret. I’ll be a better big sister for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I second that.” Minnie nods in agreement, gently squeezing Miyeon’s hand under the table. “If you ever need anything, we want to be able to be the first people you can come to. We’ll do our best to keep you happy. I hope you can trust us with that, Shu. We’ll show you our better selves.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve done so much for us, Shuhua,” Yuqi looked to her right, a small smile on her face. Her voice was a little huskier, considering she was speaking in Mandarin. “You’ve defended us from wrongdoing, and made so many people happy. We gained a family member in you when you began to trust us. I gained a sister the day I met you. I can speak for all of us at this table when I say we’re glad to have you back on your feet. We missed our maknae. We missed our Maltese.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A little laugh left Shuhua as she pulled Yuqi into a side hug. The girl responded in Mandarin, feeling comfortable enough. She could see Minnie was translating for the rest of the group.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your Maltese never left. She just… had a rough patch. Yeah, that’s all. I’ll always be the cute Malteshu! How dare you say she left? I am offended, Yu.” A gentle nudge with the elbow. “In all seriousness, I do appreciate it, a lot. You guys never had to put any effort in for me, because you were always there. I should be the one making it up to all of you for taking care of me during a difficult time and with such a strange condition. I hope none of you ever feel it, because it really does suck.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll take your word for it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, can you two actually focus on your food?” Minnie interjects, a devious grin plastered on her face. “Or are you busy stealing Jin’s girlfriend?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yah! Kim Minnie, don’t you dare accuse me of such a heinous thing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin glanced to her left at Shuhua, who just so happened to make eye contact with her at that exact moment. “Shushu, what are they on about?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To which Shuhua responded, “The typical foreign line shenanigans. I mean, we’re the comedians of the group after all. So, we’re living up to our name.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>December 24th</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>We normally spent Christmas with our families.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I would fly back to Taiwan, Yuqi to China, Minnie to Thailand, and the other three would go to their respective cities in Korea. This year, we decided to spend it together in the dorm Soojin and I shared. It was really nice, actually. If I’m not mistaken, Miyeon begged for a camera for us to film some I-Talk footage with, and we were given permission to go live. Christmas with our Neverlands, who would’ve thought. I was laying with my head on Soojin’s lap, Yuqi and Soyeon had their backs to each other, Minnie was wrapped up in a burrito with her blanket, and Miyeon was settling down from adjusting our camera. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re going live. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Neverland! Merry Christmas!” Minnie’s smile was cheek to cheek. A warm sight, and I was definitely trying to hold in a laugh. I haven’t seen that bright smile from her in months. God, it was like a wave of relief to be able to see my unnies smile again. After the hell I put them through… this was a nice change of pace. As I brought my arm up to wave, Minnie poked her head out of the burrito and laughed. “I know we’ve been missing for a while, but… it’s okay! We were working on something very special for all of you. And as you all knew, we were also taking care of Shuhua since she was sick.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mhmm,” I nodded. “I wasn’t feeling well for the longest time, but… having all of your positive messages helped a lot, Neverland.  I’m glad I’m back and ready to fight again. I’m still your favorite Maltese, right?” I curled my lips into a pout and Miyeon leaned down over to show me the comments. The amount of support towards me being back on any of our social media for the first time in months was insane. While I knew I could never tell our Neverland what truly happened, I could always count on them to still support me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My heart did feel a little heavy that I had to lie to them. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But… what has to be done must be done.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The other four began to talk to our fans as I looked up at Soojin, who was staring down at me. She had this warm smile on her face, one that reminded me of much happier times before this whole mess happened. That glimmer in her eyes screamed nothing but loving words, without her lips needing to move. I reached up with a hand and held her cheek, the pout on my face becoming a smile as warm as a spring day. Maybe it was wrong of me to zone out, but I could truly care less. I was happy to see my Jinjin smile. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I was happy to have her be mine.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You know, I would normally care that we were on V Live. She would care too, but it seems we both had the same idea. At that moment, neither of us really… well, minded attention to our surroundings. Soojin leaned down over me to give me a kiss, and the corners of my lips visibly pulled themselves up. I wasn’t going to deny that I was smiling. The other members were probably shocked, everyone was probably going crazy in the comments, but we didn’t care. Why should we? In all honesty… fuck others’ opinions. We want to be happy.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yah! Yeh Shuhua! Seo Soojin!” Yuqi’s voice was mildly irritated, but I’m sure she was smiling. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She really was like a sister to me, you know? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The first person I met in Korea. The first person to help me feel comfortable.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The reason I was able to talk to Soojin that very first night. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A quiet giggle escaped Soojin as I sat up from laying on her lap. My eyes met Yuqi’s, and I was right. She was smiling. “We’re under the mistletoe, let us breathe. And besides… not like you didn’t expect it.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She shrugs, and shakes her head with a chuckle. “God, you’re a mess. I swear on it, Shu. Anyways, welcome back. We’re glad to have our Maltese in our lives and social media again. We can finally be all six of us without anyone or anything to stop us. So, our Neverland… we can now proudly announce a few things. The first one obviously having been Shuhua’s recovered from her illness and she’s back! We’re six girls again.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“The second being that we’ll be having a fanmeet soon!” Miyeon waves. “We’re so excited to be able to meet with you in person and talk to you. It feels like ages since our last one, so we want this one to be as special as possible. We’ll have a video going up in the next few days with all of the information we can give you. Please look forward to that!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Soyeon nods. “The third thing is our next comeback. We know you’ve been all patiently waiting for it, and thank you for being there. You all had so many questions when the tweet was put out about it with a teaser image. The truth is that this is a full album! Myself, Yuqi, and Minnie all had a hand in writing these songs for you, so we hope you like them. I think one of Minnie’s songs is the title track.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“And we’re excited to share everything about it over the next few weeks until the release,” Soojin pulls me into a hug with one of her arms. “Keep an eye out. We might drop special content for you soon.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to laugh, but instead, I looked up into the camera with the brightest smile out there. “We’re showing you a cool side of us!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>––––––––––</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>March 26th, 2021</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It truly was an unbreakable bond. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yuqi was the first to tell you she never expected for them to be so happy. Sure, they had their arguments, but it shocked her to see Shuhua handle the relationship so maturely. In fact, she was a proud big sister because of it. The pain and trouble the girl had gone through made her blossom into such a strong woman, and being there to witness it was an honor to her, almost. Her eyes glanced up to Minnie in front of her as the two sat by the windows of a local café. “Hey, Min?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up?” The Thai looked at her younger Chinese counterpart. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s so weird to think that… so close to a year ago… we were worrying about Shuhua dying and losing her. And now we’re seeing this whole different Shuhua. She’s so grown up and… I’m honestly a little sad about it. I miss her child-like nature sometimes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do too, but… I’m glad she grew up. She’s taking her relationship seriously, and doing her best to keep herself and Soojin as happy as possible. Not to say they don’t argue, but they actually take things with a grain of salt and know when to try to fix things. They don’t even let it affect their work, either. It’s insane how balanced they try to be and how well they’re doing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, I’m rooting for them. I’d love to see a Sooshu wedding.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re such a fangirl.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And you’re not?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever, Yu,” Minnie chuckles. “The point here is that they’re happy. They’re finally together. Soojin got her shit straight and Shuhua didn’t die. We couldn’t ask for a better outcome. We don’t lose a member, and we get to watch our little sister grow. I’m honestly excited for what the future’s going to hold for the rest of us. We know they’ve got theirs set in stone, but… maybe we need to start thinking like them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you have in mind?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe… I’ll get the courage to–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanna go on a date with Miyeon, don’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Knew it. Just ask Shuhua for advice. She’s been on plenty of dates with Soojin already.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minnie rolls her eyes. “Oh whatever! As if you don’t like Soyeon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>––––––––––</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuhua? Soojin?” Miyeon’s voice came from the doorway. Shuhua looked up from the television to wave, and Soojin called out a response from the kitchen. Miyeon gently gestured if she could come in, and Shuhua nodded, patting the spot on the couch next to her. “Hi Soo! Hi Shu.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi Miyeonnie!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi Miyeonnie. What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Briefly appearing at the ‘entrance’  to the kitchen, Soojin leans against the wall. “Unnie, you look stressed. Something going on?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, well… I’m in a little bit of a bind. And I was hoping my lovely Sooshu could help me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Minnie-unnie,” Shuhua starts grinning, “isn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a bold assumption, Shu–”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, actually,” Miyeon nervously rubs the back of her neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin’s jaw drops.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was wondering if you two could… help me do something special for her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuhua looks up at Soojin and nods, before pulling Miyeon into a tight hug. “Of course we can help! Sooshu to the rescue, right Jjin-ah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soojin rolls her eyes and starts to smile. “Yeah. Sooshu to the rescue. And considering we’ve been through thick and thin, we can definitely help you figure something out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We were destined to be together,” Shuhua meets eyes with Soojin as she speaks the line with a smile. “And we’ll make sure none of you ever have to suffer what I went through. So leave it to us, unnie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>––––––––––</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leave it to me, Miyeonnie.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll make sure everything’s perfect for you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And to my dearest Soojin…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s been a long time.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>We’ve been together through thick and thin, </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>and we won’t desert each other now.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
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